abd distance is the same btw, abd was introduced for some clan league to get rid of lifters, the problem is when you make dq outside of the ring more problematic to happen without changing dt and ft, meta does change completely. nobody was thinking about it at that point, so here we go.
there are various aikido-like mods with big dojo which prevent lifting aswell, like spiritwrestling, but these are not popular.
why? the skill cap
abd is a mess in it's current state, and because of it it's easily aproachable by having very low entry skill cap.
any scrub can play abd even if he is terrible, while in mods like spiritwrestling, where you can not damage opponent directly and you need to work to pin him down, you need to have a some degree of skill to be effective.
in short: yes there are flaws in aikido due the current grab system, and i tried to adress these by changing the mod, to weed out the very same issues you mentioned in OP by limiting grabs and making it self-damage only, so meta is concentrated on throws and pindowns. you can try aikido5 or aikido7 (5 have wrists disabled)
obviously, i would like to disagree with hax, as "git gut" is not always an answer.
playing aikido for quite a while (my main mod) you can recognize the boundaries and address them, considering current game limitations (for example when grabs would not be a solid line connection and you will be able to break them, there would not need in any limitations at all, except dm threshold and self dm, to have a perfect aikido mod)
solid line grabs deform yourr body on double grabs - should not be considered as feature, but a thing to fix
since grabs are unbreakable, you can't get rid of them and they deform body, low grabs becoming OP - due to these limitations low grab openers and our favorite shovel is the game breaker when done sucessfully
addressing issues above instead of accepting them as it is, is right choice
but in any case, META is the king
when mod settings favor one way to play over another, people will follow the lowest common dominator strategy
in short: it's rather convinient to dm kick somebody in abd in order to win, instead of trying to throw and pindown
and it's rather convinient in aikido5 to throw somebody instead of trying to kick dm him (no dm and self dm only, kicks are useless)
people will follow the meta which is favored by mod settings, thats why when mods are created people shouldd think about why and what, to avoid creating such mess as abd,
but hey, people like it, lol