Yeah, as a lot of you pointed out, it was an April fools joke. Pretty sure those things had no effect other than making you look like a moron. Thought I would keep this open until it was revealed to be a joke and see whether people could have a legit discussion about it but really there wasn't too much to discuss. Closing thread now.
If something's item art looks exactly like a cock and balls, it might not be a great idea to spend 1k on it.