TheKnife, the god of suicide brings upon you what could very well be the record of fast suicides.
At least until someone is like "zomg i can do better" and proves their cause.
Anyway, here you go.
24 frame suicide consists of 24 frames and is of me ripping both my arms, my head, and my right pec off.
13 frame suicide consists of 13 frames and is of me ripping both my arms and hands off.

That's pretty fast, right?

I realize 13 frame suicide is much faster, but it's so simple I just had to add 24 frame suicide as well.
It's very nice.