About the "im nice to people but they dont give back" deal, being nice is something everyone should be, probably should be taken for granted. If you just expect for people to give back, dont. You dont need to get praise for doing such a basic thing as being nice.

You also seem to think that the world is against you. If you really do think this, if its hard for you to be in public spaces because you think everyone hates you, seek professional help. A few talks with a qualified person might just help you. But a techno ragdoll simulator discussion forum is not exactly what you would call 'qualified', so I'll close this thread. Do not think of this as a personal attack, but if you really facing extre self hate or whatever you'd call it, seek professional help.