for some reasons i cant change hand settings to grip :S im new

in single player or multilayer?

try double clicking the hands i know sometimes it doesnt work the first time for me

Some mods, such as wushu, don't allow grabbing. That's probably why you can't do it.

But for the record, to grab you can highlight your wrist joint and press "L" or just press on your hands.

Click on the hands, but some mods don't have grabbing on it. When you are in "grab mode," you'll know, because the hands are skinner.