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Old Aug 21, 2014   #1
Moskainen Belt
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,748
Clan: EGO

The story title doesn't take priority over the story itself!
Jonathan was handsome. Very handsome. Oh so very handsome. In fact, he is so handsome he can not start his day without checking himself out from the mirror first. It's an act that takes priority even over breakfast. Unfortunately it's also why he tends to be late from any morning appointments, but that doesn't shake him too much, as handsome men obviously live in their own time.

Today however, Jonathan had no early appointments, as he was still on vacation. This meant that Jonathan could check himself out from the mirror for as long as he wished - at least until his hunger started being unbearable. But still, admiring his breath-taking looks always comes first, no exceptions.

After his morningly self-checks, Jonathan went for breakfast. Ah, currant porridge from handpicked currants mixed with milk. The milk waters down the strong taste of the currants and brings a special kind of softness. The softness that should always be present in breakfasts! The taste is magnificent, definitely worth the praise! Jonathan felt regret over the fact that he couldn't name this tasty comestible to his own name.

While eating, Jonathan started pondering. What other reasons are there for his greatness? Obviously his incredibly handsome appearance is the first and foremost...

"Grats, you're now a legend!"

"Hey, thanks man! That has been obvious to me for as long as I can remember, but it doesn't hurt to have someone reminding me that!"

Usually, when someone faces a situation where he is abruptly congratulated for becoming a legend, the normal, general reactions in order would be 1) doubting that the voice was calling to him, 2) realizing after approximately 4.7 seconds that the voice was, indeed, calling to him, 3) doing a bemused expression, and finally, 4) nervously saying "what," most likely in an embarrassing, high-pitched voice.

But nothing like that happened to Jonathan. In fact, it could be said that the exact opposite happened to him: He deduced what was said was told to him, made a wide smile filled with joy, and responded accordingly. This all happened in an instant, as if he had practiced this in advance. Which in fact he did publicly in front of the reflections of the windows when he was still in comprehensive school. This resulted to everyone marking him as the weirdo of the school.

It took Jonathan exactly 4.7 seconds to realize that the situation wasn't normal. The voice wasn't normal, that is. He lives alone in a 28 square meter apartment and surely nobody would pick his door open. See, it's locked. So, what was the voice in his head?

"That's right! I must have become a superhero!" Jonathan proclaimed out loud, standing up from the chair and swinging his left arm all the way up, pointing to the ceiling. "That voice was most likely my spider senses or something," he thought. "Wait... Does this mean I can fly now!?" Without further ado, he crouches, bringing his arm down and curling both arms to his sides and fisting his hands. He gathers his energy to his feet, or at least imagines so, and... Lifts off! With a mighty, powerful jump, his right arm stretched above him just like Superman, he flies... To about 56 centimeters in the air, and then falls down safely on his two feet.

It takes Jonathan about 4.7 seconds to realize with an audible "Damnit!" that he didn't fly through the roof and see the horizon stretching in front of his eyes, just like he had imagined. Ah man, that didn't quite work out. And he was so excited, too.

Keep trying, Jonathan!


Last edited by ed; Oct 13, 2014 at 09:46 PM..
Tonakai is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Aug 21, 2014   #2
5th Dan Black Belt
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,706

Go on jonathan, you can fly.

finally you will have more important stuff to do rather than posting in clan threads.

u better host something.
duck is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Aug 21, 2014   #3
3rd Dan Black Belt
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,702
Clan: Tribe


also hi what's up
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Old Aug 21, 2014   #4
Gay 4 SlyBash Belt
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4,871
Clan: win

Hi TonTon, congratz. May you make me a cool swag avatar for free? :o

Toribash Season 1 Rank 3 | Ex ES Artist | Ex Mascot of [Alpha]

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Old Aug 21, 2014   #5
2nd Dan Black Belt
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,062
Clan: Suki

Tuna reboot "blood" tourney ples
Better start hosting again ;o
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Old Aug 21, 2014   #6
Green Belt
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 1,382

whats it like moderating the worst board in toribash
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Old Aug 21, 2014   #7
2nd Dan Black Belt
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,062
Clan: Suki

How it feels when your nutshell thread turns into mere crap in several days
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Old Aug 21, 2014   #8
Risk Has a 13 Dollar Wallet and Belt
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,652
Clan: Obey

Hi tony ily
My signature was too long so I got this pretty rainbow here instead now. Isn't it nice? This is a nice rainbow.

Risk did this to me and I hate him forever, please join the official "Fuck Risk in the Ass With a Live Bat" social group to join me in hating Risk:
Click here to join my cult to fuck Risk in the ass with a live bat
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Old Aug 21, 2014   #9
Master Belt
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,858
Clan: Relax All

I think you being Torilegend just about sums up toribash.

edit: what are you torilegend for?
FistofLife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Aug 21, 2014   #10
Thou Has't Been Smitten
5th Dan Black Belt
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 1,470

Hi Tonakai. Congrats . Thinking of joining a clan after this?
_________________.( MindStorm )._________________
I'm the leader of this pretty cool clan called Apex.
IRC is love, IRC is life. Hit me up on the #Apex channel!
Wanna help feed my ego? Join my fan club!
Are you awesome? Apply for Apex.
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