so ive been wandering, what is a forged flame and how do i equip a flame,
because my flame particle texture cant be equipped without one?

A flame and particle texture are different. A flame is an actual flame. The particle texture is a texture like item that you can user to change characteristics of your flame. A particle texture will only work when used in conjunction with an existing flame.

and how can i get the flame?

Not sure if this has been answered separately by PM, but to get a flame you can do the 2 following things:

1. Go to the Particle Flames board, this is where people sell their flames. You can pay with tc there and they will send you the flame (simply an item which you can activate)

2. Use the flame forger which allows you to customize and make your own flame, using the different options. (This isn't cheap, better of going with option 1)