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Old 3 Weeks Ago   #71
rose
 
fall in love with death Belt
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 5,137
Clan: win



imo this is my first cool manip....lmk if u guys think i should continue it or get more dms on my imouto
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File Type: rpl fall in love with death.rpl (196.1 KB, 16 views)
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Last edited by rose; 3 Weeks Ago at 06:53 PM.. Reason: <24 hour edit/bump
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Old 3 Weeks Ago   #72
Vayne
 
6th Dan Black Belt
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 649
Clan: Evolution



The movement is great reminds me of Pusga sort of. The dm needed quite a lot more work . Getting a good boom can often take longer than making the whole replay so just keep at it when trying to get a boom or good dm's.
<tunadao> And if the potato get old it will be better,because noones can eat a old potato it turns into legendary potato
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Old 3 Weeks Ago   #73
Spirals
Senior Member
 
5th Dan Black Belt
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 703



Everything Vayne said. A big misstep I see in your punch is that you're contracting your pec way too early. All of the force is exerted when the pec hits its limit- try to aim to have the pec max out in the same frame as contact. It will make it much smoother, as well as kick out a lot more power. Well done, good replay.
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Old 2 Weeks Ago   #74
dddddemon
Junior Member
 
Yellow Belt
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 14
Clan: Kronic



http://forum.toribash.com/showthread.php?p=11657741

u sent me a replay like a week ago and now it on my youtube channel mohter fucker
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Old 2 Weeks Ago   #75
epoch
Member
 
Black Belt
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 194
Clan: Pyramid
Server: hbo



fall in love with death:

first of all, your movements are pretty smooth but i saw a quite a few problems.

extending your abs right at the start made you look dummy thicc but weird.

the flip after the spin in the opener was almost all caused by your arms, and your legs barely move for a bit under 80 frames i think, just looks weird and stiff while still being fluid caused by all the rotation and movement in general which masks it. it still irks me out though.

a lot of the time your transitions into other movements seem to be rapid, and then there's not much movement elsewhere until the next transition which makes the pace of the replay choppy.

overall, the manip is really cool, you're actually manipulating imouto rather than following him in the air like 70% of manips are. i respect that. except i'm sure you realised you hit your head, which is just painful.

then you let uke hit the ground before you dmed him, which also removes the entire purpose of a manipulation, which imo is to do damage to uke while he is in your control, in the air.

also the two dms you get with the clothesline are not nearly warranted considering how little power and momentum was in it. it makes it look as if the dm threshold is low, which im sure is not, but its just odd and ugly.

overall your movements are a little jerky and not very smooth, id recommend relaxing the joints you contract or extend after the contraction or extension has served its purpose unless your moving with enough speed to warrant a rapid extension or contraction.

i'm sure you've noticed but the main amount of dms people achieve are from ghosting a part of their tori into ukes body. in the clothesline, you hit the glutes but dm the lumbar and abs which is odd imo. personally considering this you hitting your imouto as well as that above, i'd try to boom the glutes then the pecs ;).

i think you should continue this replay and polish it up a bit more, could be great. i hope you try and take some of the things i've commented on into consideration in your next replay, i'm excited to check out the next one! good luck.

rating: 5/10
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Old 2 Weeks Ago   #76
rose
 
fall in love with death Belt
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 5,137
Clan: win



Originally Posted by epoch View Post
fall in love with death:

first of all, your movements are pretty smooth but i saw a quite a few problems.

extending your abs right at the start made you look dummy thicc but weird.

the flip after the spin in the opener was almost all caused by your arms, and your legs barely move for a bit under 80 frames i think, just looks weird and stiff while still being fluid caused by all the rotation and movement in general which masks it. it still irks me out though.

a lot of the time your transitions into other movements seem to be rapid, and then there's not much movement elsewhere until the next transition which makes the pace of the replay choppy.

overall, the manip is really cool, you're actually manipulating imouto rather than following him in the air like 70% of manips are. i respect that. except i'm sure you realised you hit your head, which is just painful.

then you let uke hit the ground before you dmed him, which also removes the entire purpose of a manipulation, which imo is to do damage to uke while he is in your control, in the air.

also the two dms you get with the clothesline are not nearly warranted considering how little power and momentum was in it. it makes it look as if the dm threshold is low, which im sure is not, but its just odd and ugly.

overall your movements are a little jerky and not very smooth, id recommend relaxing the joints you contract or extend after the contraction or extension has served its purpose unless your moving with enough speed to warrant a rapid extension or contraction.

i'm sure you've noticed but the main amount of dms people achieve are from ghosting a part of their tori into ukes body. in the clothesline, you hit the glutes but dm the lumbar and abs which is odd imo. personally considering this you hitting your imouto as well as that above, i'd try to boom the glutes then the pecs ;).

i think you should continue this replay and polish it up a bit more, could be great. i hope you try and take some of the things i've commented on into consideration in your next replay, i'm excited to check out the next one! good luck.

rating: 5/10

wowee thanks omg i didnt know my movements were that bad <_> also, yeah, i'll see what i can do about the dms there. will try making another replay soon too
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Old 2 Weeks Ago   #77
rose
 
fall in love with death Belt
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 5,137
Clan: win



um,................... i made a spar
Attached Files
File Type: rpl spar with epoch.rpl (384.2 KB, 5 views)
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