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Old Dec 21, 2016   #31
Fates
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More updates to Mystiria might be getting a google doc so people can read the whole thing without wattpad. Also if you leave a review please specify what story you are referring to. Thanks
[VIBE] 2015~2016 | Team Pokemon | [Origin] 2014~2015 | Team Aikido | [Obey] ~Because Frost Said So...
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Old Dec 22, 2016   #32
Dothgar
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when are u coming out with a book? i recommend using times new roman size 12 font
Tor1g0d embodied as a noob. Hey, atleast i'm back and nice!
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Old Jan 10, 2017   #33
Fates
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Yo guys Im back with the Google doc for Mystiria. So if you want to read all 25 current Chapters, without going to the Wattpad to wait for each chapter then you are in luck.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing
-----
Chapter 26 will be done... sometime soon
[VIBE] 2015~2016 | Team Pokemon | [Origin] 2014~2015 | Team Aikido | [Obey] ~Because Frost Said So...

Last edited by Fates; Jan 10, 2017 at 09:13 PM.. Reason: <24 hour edit/bump
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Old Jan 15, 2017   #34
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I was feeling "13 stones" , the things that grabbed my attention was the fact that they were on a quest in the beginning , and that Amaru found a sword that ingraved his name into the sword (didn't forget about the dogs ,the dogs man @[email protected]) as he hoisted it. I wonder what happended to their family memebers...? I'll stay tuned to chapter 2.
"Joining ormo should not be seen primarily as an achievement but as an indication of what your future could be". ~Pusga

Last edited by youngsandm; Jan 15, 2017 at 07:41 PM..
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Old Jan 16, 2017   #35
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Thanks for your review ill be working on the second chapter sometime this month, Have alot of works and plans on my plate. Feel free to check out the other Works in the Library.
[VIBE] 2015~2016 | Team Pokemon | [Origin] 2014~2015 | Team Aikido | [Obey] ~Because Frost Said So...
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Old Jan 17, 2017   #36
PeSystem
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Really good stories and really good writing.
10/10 for creativity and writing elements in general. Your vivd style of writing made me feel like i was there. Watching. And it also really made me read like i was kind of watching a movie, which shows that you really have "immersive" writing. The swapping of povs were genius, in my opinion. Even though i am not familiat witg your type of literature, i found it quite captivating and entertaining.
The ponctuation however, at least in the first chapter of the first story, was a little bit off. It made me confused and, at times, break my immersion to re-read sentences because it got me confused. And some times, i found some bits not really organized, and it felt, at times, that you clusttered too many data into small bits of the story, which can feel kinda heavy and confusing.

So in general, i'll give an 8.7/10. Which, for me, is a really good grade. This would equal to like an A- . But if your ponctuation and the ororganization were on point, you would easily break into 9.5 or 10 range.
"Never think you're the only one at something" - VictorTB

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Old Jan 18, 2017   #37
Fates
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Thanks for your feedback, It is very appriciated. Honestly I was putting 13 Stones on hold until I got to Chapter 15 in The Wanted. Writing lore and rules for a whole world where magic exists is... challenging. That story was written 2 years ago for a school literature assignment and I decided that instead of leaving it to die I would give myself a reminder to carry it on one day. However I may change that schedule. Again feel free to read the other works and give feedback on those since right now the other two are being updated more often.
[VIBE] 2015~2016 | Team Pokemon | [Origin] 2014~2015 | Team Aikido | [Obey] ~Because Frost Said So...

Last edited by Fates; Jan 18, 2017 at 03:59 AM..
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Old Jan 24, 2017   #38
PeSystem
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Originally Posted by Fates View Post
Thanks for your feedback, It is very appriciated. Honestly I was putting 13 Stones on hold until I got to Chapter 15 in The Wanted. Writing lore and rules for a whole world where magic exists is... challenging. That story was written 2 years ago for a school literature assignment and I decided that instead of leaving it to die I would give myself a reminder to carry it on one day. However I may change that schedule. Again feel free to read the other works and give feedback on those since right now the other two are being updated more often.

Of course. I am loving your writing atm. I try to always read something everyday. And i read your stories a lot. They are very good. I like it at least, even though i am not too familiar with Anime and this kind of writing (i imagined to be anime-like at least).
"Never think you're the only one at something" - VictorTB

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Old Jan 28, 2017   #39
Fates
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Eyyy Mystiria Chapter 26 is done, And 27, and 28... Ok So I haven't been keeping it up to date on here but don't kill me. I promise to be more in tune with it for Chapter 29 of Mystiria, and Chapter 11 of The Wanted, Oh shit, did I let it slip that its coming soon... :OOO!!!
[VIBE] 2015~2016 | Team Pokemon | [Origin] 2014~2015 | Team Aikido | [Obey] ~Because Frost Said So...

Last edited by Fates; Jan 28, 2017 at 05:24 AM..
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Old Feb 23, 2017   #40
Fates
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Yo yo yo new chapters are up on Mystirias Google doc!
[VIBE] 2015~2016 | Team Pokemon | [Origin] 2014~2015 | Team Aikido | [Obey] ~Because Frost Said So...
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