is doesn't even matter how hard i try

keep adding to it!

and nice rap
+Rep for that but you could make it into a Toribash vid with Microsoft Sam speaking? XD

i can't dude i have no idea about making a video can i ask u ?
and thank u for that comment

no offense but this is horrible its just raps + computer games dont mix.

u don't like it ?

nice rap! lol 10/10

thank u ma friend

hm, dunno. i dont feel the great flow and enthusiastic when i read this. try to clear ur lines so u got similiar word constructions (like 7 to 10 words per line).

and try to add punchlines and stuff like this. u cant write a really nice rap in 10 minutes. this just cant work. u need more time and u have to think about the thing u want to express with ur lines. my opinion, no offence ;)

4/10

Heyyyyy, you took the rhyme scheme from linkin park as stated before, you also stole their intro, 3.5/10 -rep

+rep. Awesome!

6/10, not that bad.

+rep

also
http://forum.toribash.com/showthread.php?p=3179741