Originally Posted by isaac

Okay, so there'd be steel sliding doors that aren't noticeable at first between every section of the house. The walls would also be reinforced with metal. Bullet proof, preferably. Each room would have cameras and other sensors.

Now the actual layout, it'd have to kind of go in a circle, so either direction would get you to the back of the house. While, the middle would be inaccessible but this would have to not be noticeable.

Now, when a burgular breaks in, I'll probably be in the house as I never leave, and they'll come in and start looking at stuff. When they're in far enough I'll close the metal sliding door leading out. They'll start getting a bad feeling. They'll go for a window, BAM METAL.

Now preferably there's 2 of them, and they'd be in separate sections, so suddenly all the other sliding doors start shutting. Now they're separated from each other and flippin shit over what's happening.

In each room would be multiple speakers hidden in the walls. Probably 3 on each wall ceiling and floor. Using software, I'd be able to pick which speaker(s) to play a sound from. A text to speech with the voice of ALICE from Resident Evil would be available too.

Now, you toy with them with noises coming from different directions. Then, when you get bored, you have the ALICE voice say "You're all going to die down here..." And it's at that point that the fog machine I have above the A/C vent starts going off. They think it's poison gas and freak out, trying not to breathe. I laugh some more and then call the cops. When they get here, I release the metal doors leading to the front, and then when the cops are there, I open that one and they run out, only to be arrested.

Now, to explain the middle of the house. There'd be many secret doors leading to it, bullet proof obv. And in there would be a room, with stairs leading up. This is the 2nd story of the house, and primarily where I'd live. It also has the control room where I control all of this stuff. I'd be safely in there while I torment my house robbers.