Original Post
Shaping the sub-forum
I've been reading through our clan's forum, and I kind of felt like I could polish it up for us. I'm an avid writer in my free time, and I've noticed the little room descriptions that you've posted in sticky threads. The idea itself is actually really cool, so I'd like to try to elaborate.
There's so much that you can do with it, so I'd like to take it a step further. Of course, if the idea isn't alright with you, then there's no harm done.
So what do you think? Are you up for it?
There's so much that you can do with it, so I'd like to take it a step further. Of course, if the idea isn't alright with you, then there's no harm done.
So what do you think? Are you up for it?
I picked on that would be the easiest to do with my short amount of time-- I'm about to head out to band practice.
This is the original:
You enter the first side cave from the left. The plate says it goes to Member List.
There are several light sources on the walls. Between the light sources are pictures of some people.
The papers the pictures are made on look very old.
There are papers with text on them under the pictures.
This is what I propose:
Within the first cave on the left side of the cavern's darkened walls, one can find a plaque, illuminated by a light source unseen. The little beam of light flickers over the plaque, giving it a rather chilling aura to it. This plaque seemed to set itself perfectly upon the room's ground, glued to the middle.
From the inside of the room, one could hear a desperate pitter-pattering, though it's cause was out of sight. The closer one became to the plaque, the louder the sound grew.
On the far end of the room, there seemed frames, blank from afar. Out of curiosity, one would have to investigate. After all, who would be framed in such a cavern?
Upon the frames, there lied the faces of many unknown, all with a certain thirst in their eyes. A lingering power behind their expression gave the impression that they were greater than any man could imagine, and yet, they seemed so distant, and so far away. How could one follow in their shoes?
The frames themselves were actually pretty decent given that they were hung on a cavern wall. Some were made of the purest gold, while others were given a silver luster. But that wasn't what set them apart from the rest; for the dripping sound grew even louder. Just over the plaques, there seemed to be a darkened discoloring in the wall. Said discoloring slipped through the wall's cracks, and over the frames, coating them in it's dark red glory.
I can write more later, but I had a short amount of time.
This is the original:
You enter the first side cave from the left. The plate says it goes to Member List.
There are several light sources on the walls. Between the light sources are pictures of some people.
The papers the pictures are made on look very old.
There are papers with text on them under the pictures.
This is what I propose:
Within the first cave on the left side of the cavern's darkened walls, one can find a plaque, illuminated by a light source unseen. The little beam of light flickers over the plaque, giving it a rather chilling aura to it. This plaque seemed to set itself perfectly upon the room's ground, glued to the middle.
From the inside of the room, one could hear a desperate pitter-pattering, though it's cause was out of sight. The closer one became to the plaque, the louder the sound grew.
On the far end of the room, there seemed frames, blank from afar. Out of curiosity, one would have to investigate. After all, who would be framed in such a cavern?
Upon the frames, there lied the faces of many unknown, all with a certain thirst in their eyes. A lingering power behind their expression gave the impression that they were greater than any man could imagine, and yet, they seemed so distant, and so far away. How could one follow in their shoes?
The frames themselves were actually pretty decent given that they were hung on a cavern wall. Some were made of the purest gold, while others were given a silver luster. But that wasn't what set them apart from the rest; for the dripping sound grew even louder. Just over the plaques, there seemed to be a darkened discoloring in the wall. Said discoloring slipped through the wall's cracks, and over the frames, coating them in it's dark red glory.
I can write more later, but I had a short amount of time.
Last edited by guitarookid; Sep 21, 2009 at 01:37 AM.