Toribash
Original Post
[Music] Cinder
Been a while since I posted here about a song of mine.

Newest project is an orchestral composition, lead by violins.

Let me know what you think, or if anyone wants me to post more often about my projects, I'm not totally dead yet.

Cinder


Created using FL Studios 11, and various VST's
There are not nearly enough threads tagged with [Music], thank you

The way you handled the violins was pretty cool. They at times battled for precedence as the leading melody (both at times where I'm certain that was intentional and other times where I'm not sure whether they were intended to be supporting voices or not) which I actually really liked. It fit the song really well and I thought it was awesome, even though the constant battling does get a little tiring. Some more significant alteration/modulation in how they interact could have helped that a little, as well as ofc. making one of the parts quieter to yield superiority: even if you alternate which parts lead. Not sure I like the latter in this context, but the option is there.

I think that the song could have in general benefit really nicely from some variation though. Each part does their thing and then does roughly that same thing for the rest of the song. Some additional themes/melodic variation would probably help alleviate that a lot.

The pizzicato especially was really repetitive, and a lot more could have done with that to change it from same old to something interesting to listen to. Leveling out the notes themselves to make it a bit more natural sounding and subtly varied would help a lot too, because it really really bothered me the first couple times through. I've gotten used to it now though, so....

Chorus could have used a bit of work too, and it provides a really cool sound to the overall piece so applying the choir a bit more liberally could have been really neat. Using the chorus as the medium for carrying the main themes expressed via. the violin sections during some part of the song could have been even cooler, as it would have given the listener a good break from the complicated power play going on with the violins (even though it was cool as fuck) and given a different and varied medium for the main themes.

Use of dynamics left a lot to be yearned for, honestly. That's probably the one thing I was outright dissatisfied with, because there was a lot of opportunity to break the status quo and from your renaissance-ish dynamics to add some variance and relief but the song kept roughly the same dynamics throughout nevertheless. Volume and intensity is totally your friend man, no need to be so cold to 'em.

https://soundcloud.com/rail-umutbaev...r-der-traum-an

Not the best example of classical work, but it was what I was listening to beforehand.

I think listening to this could give you a few ideas on theme variation, dynamics, etc. It's not perfect by any means, but there are more than a few identifiable ways that Wagner adds in variation to keep the song sounding original and interesting that you may be able to benefit from.

I guess just to summarize Cinder:
- Play around with unity vs. variety (imo - I personally found it a bit too repetitive)
- Dyyynnaaaaamiiiiiicsssss

Overall though - just in case I sound harsh - Cinder is really good. I had to give it a lot of listens to be even the slightest bit sure of anything I'm saying here, and of course this is all my opinion to begin with anyway. Keep up the awesome work man, I'd love to see you posting stuff like this more often.
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holy shit that was long, I'm sorry lmao
Last edited by pouffy; Apr 16, 2016 at 06:44 AM. Reason: <24 hour edit/bump
Pouffy pretty much got everything right on. I like your stuff, but found this one a tad boring. At times, it felt repetitive, and could feel empty sounding. I think some more supporting instruments to double up on the melody/harmony would have went well with parts of this piece, as well as adding some more filler instruments. I agree with pouffy about the dynamics, and I think that that is a big part of why it was kinda boring. I think next time you should use more louds and softs, and experiment more with pitch- using the upper and lower registers more frequently.

Pretty good!
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