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My own lyrics, please criticize
I'm going for more like a blues rock kinda feel.

10/25/09
"Poem time- let go of all the info, what are you in for, where are we? what is this, we don't know can you tell us? Give us insight on it this time, let it be, let it go, let it grow until it's huge, it's like a virus it's like h1n1, we just got ther cure, do we want to use it? there's not enough vaccine, what is this, 'love' "


12/28/09
"Second chances, That's what they say,
there's no need to put me on display.
I lost my courage, I lost my brave.
I wish we could go back to where we once laid.
It's too bad, yeah it's too bad,
That I had to go,
and we had to grow.
So far away,
So far So good
That's what they say,
But who are they, now were here, That's what I fear."


1/12/10

"We learn to kiss before we learn to love, yet we learn to love before we learn to live."
"Let me do another one, how shall we pass the time, a lover's kiss, a liver's leap, live or love, that is the question, few experience both, but many experience neither."


1/14/10
If I shall die tonight, and have one wish, it will be to live.
If we both lie tonight, and you can't jump over the fence,
I will come back to you, and love you softly since,
We haven't talked I have no aggression,
I have no drive, no freedom, no passion.
I rely on you, as you lie on him, to get me through this day,
But if i shall die, before your there to lean on,
Just remember, you're my heart,
So let it be, and we shall see if you will come back."


1/15/10
Love always changes, but it's always the same,
I will love you no matter your fortune or fame,
We can be together as long as you need,
Because i know one day you will recede
Back to your home, back to where you've grown.
But if your here with me, we can grow like the weeds,
I will take care of all of your needs.
They'll tak about us
And They'll tear us apart,
But if you trust me,
I'll get you through this dark,
Part of your life,

And we just might learn how to fly,
Learn to lie,
Learn how to run, and appreciate the sun,
Everyday is beautiful, everyday is horrid,
Everyday is musical,
But this musical is boring me to death, do us part ,
But death is where we start to realise life's to short to spend hours in your eyes,"


1/24/10
"If we had time,
If we had a dime,
We would be fine, for a while,
Let's listen to eachother, in the moonlight,
We'll be alright,
Until we get home,
Or until we find the phone,
They'll shoot us down, I'll pick us up,
We'll be alone as long as we need to be,
Or at least until we see that light,
We'll be filled with fright, you may run,
I'll be behind, following you through the forest, the trees and the rain,
But as long as were together,
I'll feel no pain.
Just stay, by my side, i promise you'll be fine.
Just lie low for a moment,
Soon we will own it.
Just stay quiet through the night."

"The light of the sun may blind us,
But it's the only thing keeps us sane,
If all you wish for is lust,
Then i can't be named.
Let's head for the shore as fast as we can,
But don't forget the pots and the pans,
Full of life we left behind.
And the death note we both signed.
I feel way out of line, way out of touch,
But not with the way that we both love.
Now back to the sun, where we both lay,
And you say the terrible things you say,
But i dare not say a word, for i know,
Tomorrow's another day for lovers,
But I can't stand another."

Last edited by JesseBean; Mar 24, 2011 at 06:25 PM.
I really loved those. Seriously. I'm actually doing something in this style. Quotes. Anyways, i love the second one. You should build some more at it, so it can be a whole song. I think you could be a wonderful song writer. No jokes.
[Fr3styL]|TNT|Rooyall: Wanna smell my dick? Me: Why not? Rooyall: That's what I ask the girls all the time..
Thank you, sir. My ability just comes and goes. It's like the melodies and lyrics just come to me in dreams then I remember them later in the day. Also, yeah most of these are works in progress I just can't find anyone to support me to finish them. I wasn't sure if it was worth it.
I think you need to add more newlines. I need to get a feel for the rhythm to judge them properly.

You know
like how poems are,
with one sentence
stretched
over several lines
to convey
the intended rhythm.
i have a totally post modern tattoo of a scalene triangle.
<DeadorK> fair maiden
<DeadorK> if the cum is going to be in your mouth
<DeadorK> it shall be in mine as well
I understand, man, I tried to edit it, but I don't know how to emphasize held notes. I'll record and post later.
Last edited by JesseBean; Mar 29, 2011 at 03:30 PM.