LOL Contest
2

Not Nabi this time.
I'll pay this from my very own pocket.

Welcome to the LOL contest number two!
I think some of you remembers the Nabi LOL Contest hosted by me.
The meaning of that contest was to make the funniest replay.
Well, this time you can do anything funny in words.
So, no pictures, no replays, no videos, jokes and other funny stuff... inscribed with words.
Oh, about the prize... I'll choose the best joke which I have heard of the day, though, there might not be any jokes of the day if I haven't heard good enough.
The prize of the joke of the day is 2 000 TC.
This contest lasts until my Summer vacation starts... AKA 31st May
Okay, so...

Rules

Do not send pictures.
Do not send replays.
Do not send videos.
You can throw me the joke in this thread, in this forums, in IRC, in game, everywhere.
I'll take EVERY joke what I see.
DO NOT THROW ANY IMMATURE JOKES (Example: "I fucked his mother")
Do not tell bad jokes.

Holy shiz, go and give me good jokes :o

Statistics

15th May - Loje
16th May - Nobody
17th May - Tertywerty
18th May - DesertPunk
19th May - SokuTofu
20th May - NinjaAiPoM
21st May - Nobody
22nd May -
23rd May -
24th May -
25th May -
26th May -
27th May -
28th May -
29th May -
30th May -
31st May -

Did you see the episode of pro wrestling last night?
"yeah man it was epic, the guy punched the air so hard the other guy felt it"
my own joke, not from a friend or anything that i bet most people will tell

Ok here it goes
"There were 4 people and 4 pools.A genie came out of a lamp and will grant 4 wishes to what to fill the pool. So Guy #1 wanted to fill the pool with water so he jumped in. Guy #2 wanted to fill the pool with beer then he jumped in. Guy # 3 wanted to fill the pool with kangaroos then he jumped in. Guy #4 he was so excited he was already running to the pool then slipped on a banana peel and he said "CRAP" so the pool was filled with crap

The End
sorry for long joke

So theres 2 farmers, they both tied in a competition and the prize was a pig, so between them they had to decide on a way to figure out who gets the pig. So the the first farmer says to the second, right heres the plan, we both kick each other in the balls and the person who gives up first can have the pig. So the second farmer says "ok that sounds fair", then the first farmer says yea but I go first, second farmer agrees.......so the first farmer lines himself up to get his hardest kick ever..1...2...3..BAM!!! he kicks the other farmer with a mighty blow to the balls....the second farmer is rolling around on the ground in pain and agony. Eventually the second farmer gets up and has a grin on his face...the second farmer says ok now its my turn!!! The first farmer looks at him and says fuck that you can have the damn pig and walks away!!

You can refer to this post.
http://forum.toribash.com/showpost.p...7&postcount=11

my one(i lolled so hard when i first ehard it, maybe it was just a moment thing, but wtfever)

the legend of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is true....
Chuch Norris once ate a turtle, and when he ('scuse my french) shat it out, it had grown six foot tall and learnt karate.
-_-"

This one is a bit Predjudice but i don't want to offend anybody i just found it kinda funny. plz don't take offense.

so... An American man, a Canadian man, An old Scottish lady and a blonde Irish lady with big boobs are all travelling on a train together. Suddenly they go through a tunnel and can't see anything. they here a loud *smack* and when they emerge, the American has a large, red handprint on his face.

The old Scottish lady thinks that the American groped the blonde and she smacked him. The blonde thinks that the american tried to grope her but groped the old lady by mistake and she smacked him. the American thinks that the Canadian groped the blonde but she smacked him by mistake. the Canadian thinks "I can't wait for another tunnel so i can smack the American again".

another.

3 ducks walk into a bar. The bartender walks up to the first duck, he says "what's your name". Duck #1 replies "Louie". bartender says "how was your day Louie?". Louie replies "I've been in and out of puddles. What more could a duck want?". The bartender walks up to the second duck and says "whats your name?". the duck replies "Hewie". the bartender asks how his day was and he replies the same as Louie "Been in and out of puddles. What more could a duck want?". the bartender walks up to the third duck and says "You must be Dewy." the duck replies "No. I'm Puddles."

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

hahahahahh XD

pie
...
thats it...
what do you want
i give you pie and you can laugh or cry

I want jokes.