Well firstly, ignoring lyrics since that is not what I personally can comment anything on.
If you aren't extremely fluent with your English pronounciation (or have a great sounding accent) don't rap in English. That's usually not the way to go. Just do it in your native language. You will get better articulation and rythm.
Try to practise your rythm, thats the most important part (you guys call it flow right?). Mixing wise I recommend compressing your vocals, equalizing high frequencies to be a bit more prelevant starting from the 2khz area, even tho your mic isn't very good, that does help alot. If you want a better vocal sound, you can try layering vocals, and being a bit more agressive with your tone. Don't be afraid to be loud to the microphone.
Can't comment on the backing tracks since they aren't yours.
Last edited by cowmeat; Dec 14, 2015 at 02:35 AM.