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Old Jan 20, 2019   #41
Candy
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Originally Posted by Crimson View Post
Offense is taken, never given.
I could never offend you or anyone if you or they choose not to be offended.

To be offended from something is a choice, not a situation you're stuck in.

If you could choose not to take offense to something why would anyone ever choose to take offense
I dare you to seriously try to take offence when i say the word "pickle" if you could choose whether or not to take offense this should be easy. i don't mean pretend to take offence i mean actually feel a negative emotion when the word "pickle" uttered
people can give offense
people cannot choose to take offense, i'm going to assume we all agree that by "taking offense" we mean invoke some sort emotional response specifically a negative one. I'm no scientist but i recall something about emotions being produced by hormones that are completely out of our control. what we do with that emotion is in our control people can either bottle it up or let it out in some way. but the act it's self of taking offense cannot be blamed on the offended.

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Last edited by Candy; Jan 20, 2019 at 02:37 PM..
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Old Jan 20, 2019   #42
Crimson
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Originally Posted by SruX View Post
If you could choose not to take offense to something why would anyone ever choose to take offense
I dare you to seriously try to take offence when i say the word "pickle" if you could choose whether or not to take offense this should be easy. i don't mean pretend to take offence i mean actually feel a negative emotion when the word "pickle" uttered
people can give offense
people cannot choose to take offense, i'm going to assume we all agree that by "taking offense" we mean invoke some sort emotional response specifically a negative one. I'm no scientist but i recall something about emotions being produced by hormones that are completely out of our control. what we do with that emotion is in our control people can either bottle it up or let it out in some way. but the act it's self of taking offense cannot be blamed on the offended.

Ok, if I, also don't be offended, I fucking love you and you know it,
This discussion is in good spirit from my behalf and only good means.

If I for example call you a bitch, you can either be offended or not, now you would likely be offended.
But the specific discussion is about generally saying the word gay.

If I call something gay, it's not cause I hate gays, I specifically support gay people, they even got me a 10 percent discount in a restaurant once (I'll tell the story upon request its fucking funny xD)

But my point being, if it's not directed at you, you should definitely not be offended.



[its late at night, im not trying too hard to explain my point, i respect and love u all mofos <3]
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Old Jan 20, 2019   #43
Budsi
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Srux that reply explained it much better than I could so thank you.

Crimson:

Saying someone “shouldn’t” be offended by it doesn’t mean they won’t. I’ve explained this in like half my posts so I’m not going to do it again (so if you want more clarification on what I mean just look at some of my old posts), but it doesn’t matter whether someone intends to insult people, it’s based on the context calling something gay is used in and how it negatively goes with gay stereotypes. That is what could offend people, not them thinking the person saying it is being homophobic towards them (although without clarification that could be the case too with some people).

And yes yes all my replies are with love lmao.
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Old Jan 21, 2019   #44
T0ribush
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It seems like people are trying to justify something because it was common. I highly doubt "That's gay" being used passive ways to say something is lame would've stuck to this day. It packed power, but by now its kinda dated.
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Old Feb 7, 2019   #45
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sorry for the necrobump and being so late but I was just too lazy to read OP, and differently from most people in Discussion board, I prefer reading what OP says and wants to bring up to discussion before posting

since you just want my personal thoughts on what became a common habit among online communities specially, I'm gonna stick to the idea that this is completely wrong and should be avoided. Most of those bad "preconception" (or whatever it's called in english), be it racism; homophobia or whatever, comes from these habits we barely notice on daily basis. Calling something gay in derogatory way is as wrong as relating black people to thievery and stuff alike, in my opinion, and ignorant thoughts usually start from this.
That said im not a social justice warrior that likes throwing shit on people that say "that move was gay" in servers, because I do that as well. I usually avoid saying these sort of things because I think they are bad, but when im with friends and we're just trolling, I like calling the most no-sense stuffs gay, such as an aikido opener or a fucked up dm.

that's pretty much everything
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Old Feb 7, 2019   #46
Budsi
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All good, I appreciate that and I’m always up for discussion

Your point kinda confuses me though. You say calling things gay is “completely wrong and should be avoided” but still add to it anyway? Like even if everyone else who said it decided to only use it with their friends, it wouldn’t make much of a difference since tons of people are still using it that way. And you say you usually try to avoid it, but like it’s not that hard to just not type a specific word lol. But yea I just want to know why you still say it even though you seem to be against it.

Also I think the fear of being called a “social justice warrior” causes a lot of people to not try to convince others to be nicer to each other. Even in a lot of the replies that agree with me, people feel the need to specify that they aren’t one even though having this opinion is no where near the sjw level (I’ve even probably said it about myself too).
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Old Feb 7, 2019   #47
Lionet
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well, my what I pointed there is definition of hypocrisy and I'm well aware of that. I think this "gay" usage shouldn't even exist and things would be much better, yet I never was the "party pooper" type and I ended up being part of that.
I don't feel like I made the right decision, and the least I can do is admit my actions are wrong here :/
I think you should've just ignored my actions (in this specific topic) because they oppose what I think while the main focus of this discussion is sharing my thoughts, but at the same time I felt like I needed to tell you I'm not the "good guy", you know what I mean?
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Old Feb 7, 2019   #48
Budsi
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But if you believe something is wrong, then you shouldn’t go against against that just because everyone else does it. I get your reasonings and all and it’s okay, but no one is going to think of you as a party-pooper if you just don’t call things gay lol. I never have and no one’s ever even mentioned it to me. I get feeling that way though about actively telling people not to use it, and I don’t really expect people to do that, but just not doing it yourself shouldn’t be hard in my opinion.

But yea I appreciate you sharing and I have no judgements or anything. I definitely don’t think you’re alone either. I just think that if saying it goes against your own values and beliefs, then you shouldn’t do it. And I know you’ve acknowledged that you think it’s wrong, these are just my thoughts moving forward.

You say to ignore your actions though, but actions are a big part of this topic. People’s opinions on this subject don’t really matter if their actions don’t reflect them. If everyone who calls things gay actually believed it was wrong but still said it anyway cause everyone else did, it would still remain a problem.
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Old Feb 7, 2019   #49
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Yeah, I agree with everything you said. I'll try to stop doing that
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