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Old Dec 24, 2018   #1
Budsi
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Calling Things Gay
So I’ve played this game and various others for a while, and one thing that is consistent with a large percent of the people I talk to is calling things “gay” in a derogatory way. Based on the replies of this thread, it is pretty clear that most people who use it do not mean any harm towards gay people and just say it because a lot of people do (which is what I figured).

I’m curious about everyone's thoughts on it though. I personally get that it’s just become a thing people say and often isn’t meant in a homophobic way, but I feel like for gay guys specifically, it could still cause harm based on the context that it is used in. From how i see it, a lot of times it is used in situations that go along with stereotypes for gay men (such as being weak because they're often more feminine, ex: a person doesn't want to do something and someone else calls them gay). Some people who aren't comfortable with their sexuality and see this happening a lot could be harmed by it whether someone means harm or not. If it were some random saying that had nothing to do with actual gay people, then I wouldn't really care since there are sayings such as "dick" that don't have any correlation to how it is used. And even if it does, there are ones for men and women, so it's not like it's only done with one side like "gay" is.

I don’t expect people to stop saying it or anything, I just want to hear what you guys actually think about it.

Edit: Also, maybe I should should just explain a bit more why aim bringing this up. I am gay. I'm also a girl so I've never really felt like people calling things gay a lot had much to do with me, but if I had been a guy, I feel like it wouldn't have affected me a bit in accepting it and all. It did however cause me to be unsure of how supportive the gaming community is of LGBT people, and for that reason I haven't told a lot of people.

And please, if you’re gonna post, read all the other posts and stop assuming that this is something that offends me when I’ve specified several times that it doesn’t bother me, I’m just curious what people would think if I brought it up.

Last edited by Budsi; Jan 15, 2019 at 09:23 PM..
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Old Dec 24, 2018   #2
mitch
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I think people just say it as it has come to a point where it is just used to call something stupid, although there are people who say it to be derogatory towards gay people. I don't think most people say it to be derogatory but you can never really know.

I think it's just a way for people to express their feelings at the time even though the meaning is "(of a person, especially a man) homosexual.". It really just depends on the context they use it in. If someone says "I can't do that." and another person says "That's gay" then it's just them being disappointed. However, if someone says "You are disgusting, you are gay." then its definitely to be derogatory.

Overall, I don't think it is that bad that people use gay in this way, I don't know how a gay male would feel as I'm straight.
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Old Dec 24, 2018   #3
VitaminKay
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"So I’ve played this game and various others for a while, and one thing that is consistent with a large percent of the people I talk to is calling things “gay” in a derogatory way."

As one of those "homophobes", I'll gladly address this issue.

"I generally figure most people just say it because everyone else says it and it’s just become a thing, but idk I’ve also seen plenty of people out there who do genuinely not like gay people, so I can’t really tell if people who say it actually don’t like the gays or just say it cause everyone else does."

Probably for most people, you'd be right, they're passive sheep that will say things they would call offensive if they gave half a second of thought to it. However I think you're mischaracterizing the animus against gay people. People who are against gays can be split into roughly three groups(that in all likelihood have overlap):

Religious people, like myself, who find being gay to be a sin, don't generally hate gay people, they find their sexuality to be deviant and going against God's will. I have plenty of people that I consider friends that are gay,and if the topic comes up I will tell them straight out that I don't agree with their sexual preference, and would even recommend that they change it by finding Jesus. I'm not going to force that on them, because that's something that they have to come to terms with themselves.

Then there are people who legitimately hate gay people. These are generally the less educated, consistently being found in low-income communities such as the ghettos and redneck locations. This hatred is generally due to a misunderstanding of what being gay consists of, or certain inadequacies and temptations within themselves that they are trying to hide.

After that you have people who are legitimately homophobic, as in the definition of the word, afraid of gay people. I have yet to meet any of these people so I cannot speak on this group and I would tell you that you'd be hard-pressed to find one in real life.

"And for anyone who says it just cause it’s a common thing to say, I’m curious about your thoughts on it. I personally get that it’s just become a thing people say and often isn’t meant in a homophobic way, but I feel like for gay guys specifically (cause calling things gay is more referring to traits of gay guys rather than girls), seeing people say that all the time in a negative way would be pretty discouraging"

I would hope to be discouraging is the entire point. People have a natural inclination to express distaste at something that they don't necessarily agree with, whether it be on a conscious or subconscious level. People deny this in the most obtuse ways, but they're lying to themselves at that point.the natural order is for Humanity to reproduce and continue its existence and being gay prevents that from being a possibility because their natural inclination is to go for someone that renders them incapable of reproduction, and on a subconscious level humans with a "normal" sexual preference find this weird, at the least.

"I don’t expect people to stop saying it or anything, I just want to hear what you guys actually think about it and whether you think a lot of people who say it don’t like gay people or if they only say it cause it’s popular in gaming."

I think you'll find the largest group are people of religious tendencies or people who have had past religions tendencies to be people that will say this without malice towards the person, but rather directing their disapproval towards the lifestyle.

The next largest group, and the people that likely say this the most, are most likely those who have harbored actual hatred towards gays, people that I expressed before, who were rednecks and/or less educated people, that have learned this hatred through generational influence from their parents and grandparents. They have no concrete reason to hate the gays but they will continue to do so. Sheep fall largely in this category, btw.

Tldr: Y'all some g*y f****ts.

User was called a huge moron for this post in the dms ~p

Apparently the powers-that-be do not enjoy my satire. This is duly noted and will be accommodated for in the future, to protect their precious sensibilities.
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Last edited by VitaminKay; Dec 24, 2018 at 05:04 PM..
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Old Dec 24, 2018   #4
sleepwalking
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Originally Posted by VitaminKay View Post
Apparently the powers-that-be do not enjoy my satire. This is duly noted and will be accommodated for in the future, to protect their precious sensibilities.

-snip- (before this was snipped, it was a picture of a certain someone tipping a fedora)


like any word that can be considered insulting, i try to be aware of my surroundings before using it. among people who i know won't be offended by it or take it literally, i occasionally use it.

i have a lot of close lgbt+ friends, and they often call other friends gay or fggots ironically. it all depends on context and whether you actually care about people being gay or not, which i don't

Last edited by sleepwalking; Dec 24, 2018 at 07:03 PM..
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Old Dec 24, 2018   #5
pouffy
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ngl i think it is a little wack in 2018 (almost 2019!) to constantly call shit gay and throw around fg unironically, but im not really stressin over anyone saying it around me until they call me a fg or smth

if you're too overzealous to call things gay usually theres something else i dont like about you so i just disassociate, bad traits tend to stick together like that

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Old Dec 24, 2018   #6
Budsi
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Reality:
I don't think most people intend it to be derogatory, but imagine being a gay man and growing up seeing people saying that all the time and always using it in a negative way. I don't think that would make accepting it as easy, and especially because it's sometimes hard to tell whether it's all just because everyone else says it or if people genuinely don't like gay guys.

Sleepwalking:
I do get the whole ironically using words thing. I personally just try to always avoid these words though because I honestly see no genuine point in using them, and I never know who around might see it and be affected by it. There are always other words out there that mean the same thing that i can replace it with. At this point though it's so drilled in people's vocabularies that I obviously don't expect anything to change, I just want to bring some awareness to it.

Edit: Also yeah gay people who have already fully accepted themselves and all jokingly use it that way too and I'm not saying no one should, I'm just just looking at the big picture of the gaming community and how often people say it and how that could affect some people out there.

VitaminKay:
Considering the majority of people around now are accepting of gay people, I think you are wrong in saying that most people are religious and say it to genuinely be discouraging (also you contradict yourself by saying at first that most people who say it are "sheep"). I know there is no reason for me to try to change your opinions because that is not going to happen, but just know that it is impossible for a gay person to become straight, and gay people being allowed to live a happy life does not negatively affect anyone, so opposing it is intrusive on other people's lives and achieves absolutely nothing. And no, any type of conversion does not work. I'm sure you'll find examples of super religious people claiming it did for them, but those people are just so pressured by religion to be straight that they will give up genuine happiness for it.

Also you seem to be excluding yourself from being considered "homophobic", which is what your views are. That doesn't mean you're a bad person, and it is understandable that growing up heavily religious has influenced your thoughts and beliefs a lot, but homophobia is just the disapproval of being gay.

I do agree with the way you divide the groups of people who use it though, just, as I said before, I think the majority of people say it because everyone else does and don't actually dislike gay people.

Last edited by Budsi; Dec 24, 2018 at 06:05 PM..
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Old Dec 24, 2018   #7
кAetas
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@Budsi
your first paragraph smells a lot like ignorance. People using it in a negative way are most likely just using it in situations like :
“wow that looks cool can i have it”
“no”
“thats gay”
Sure theyre using is negatively but are they using it to offend gay people? Nope, just using it as a means of expressing disappointment.

Paragraph 2:
Thats cool and all that you avoid using the words, but your statement “i honestly see no point in using them, and i never know who around might see it and be affected by it.” is just saying you dont use the word gay in the abovementioned way because ignorant people are sensitive. Unless gay IS actually being used badly (in a homophobic or as a way to shame a homosexual) then i see no point in that statement. Your second point is fair tho. Its good to bring awareness to this.

Paragraph 3:
not exactly sure what youre going on about at first; my input with the religion side of being gay is this:
from what i know being gay in itself is not a sin, the action of having intercourse or being sexually involved with a member of the same sex IS however a sin.
(u can be gay but u cant do the gay or god will be mad)
p dumb rule but whatever.
agree with your other points made here, nothing more to discuss.
i will however say that his views arent homophobic, they arent even his views. I agree that he has been brainwashed by the pope.

tl;dr gay people are ok, god hates boy on boy, most people arent complete homophobic assholes.
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Old Dec 24, 2018   #8
Budsi
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Aetas:
I 100% get that people don't use it with the intention of affecting gay people, and I personally don't have much of a problem with people using it like that. All I'm trying to do is bring awareness to the fact that some people may be affected by it and see what the people who say it a lot think when actually thinking about that. And in this situation it's not about whether they're trying to offend gay people or not, it's the fact that calling something gay is associated with something being bad and how seeing that can affect gay guys.

This whole thing is really the intentions vs effect it has debate, which I personally am kind of in the middle of. I don't think it's wrong of people to say it, I just think they should at least be aware of any negative impact it could have in certain situations. That's all.

And that part about me seeing no point in using those words is just my personal reason for not doing it, not me saying no one else should. I get that different words do have different effects and that's why people use it a lot.

Last edited by Budsi; Dec 24, 2018 at 08:30 PM..
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Old Dec 24, 2018   #9
Hikou
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The majority of people aren’t using it in a derogatory way, but to someone growing up gay they’d probably perceive it as being ‘homophobic’. The word has evolved; the context and intent behind the use of the word matters greatly. I think LGBT people in general taking this into consideration when they hear the word being used, will have a much better time on the internet. Not owning/accepting the evolution of the word will just lead to anger and resent, and overall not a good use of your time. However, I understand the negative emotion it can cause to those who haven’t come to terms with it and out of courtesy wouldn’t use the word.

I think a lot of people just use it because of how versatile the word is now, you can refer to anything as gay and it sorta ‘works’. It’s an easy go-to that’s been drilled into a lot of peoples online vocabulary. Whether it’s conscious or unconscious I couldn’t tell ya.

My question to you is, if you think this is an attitude that needs to be changed how would you go about doing it?
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Last edited by Hikou; Dec 24, 2018 at 07:30 PM..
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Old Dec 24, 2018   #10
VitaminKay
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"
VitaminKay:
Considering the majority of people around now are accepting of gay people, I think you are wrong in saying that most people are religious and say it to genuinely be discouraging (also you contradict yourself by saying at first that most people who say it are "sheep"). I know there is no reason for me to try to change your opinions because that is not going to happen, but just know that it is impossible for a gay person to become straight, and gay people being allowed to live a happy life does not negatively affect anyone, so opposing it is intrusive on other people's lives and achieves absolutely nothing. And no, any type of conversion does not work. I'm sure you'll find examples of super religious people claiming it did for them, but those people are just so pressured by religion to be straight that they will give up genuine happiness for it.

Also you seem to be excluding yourself from being considered "homophobic", which is what your views are. That doesn't mean you're a bad person, and it is understandable that growing up heavily religious has influenced your thoughts and beliefs a lot, but homophobia is just the disapproval of being gay.

I do agree with the way you divide the groups of people who use it though, just, as I said before, I think the majority of people say it because everyone else does and don't actually dislike gay people."

You misinterpreted what I said.

Out of the three groups that would be likely to use this term in a derogatory/seemingly derogatory fashion, the religious group would be the largest. You cannot just consider the demographics of your own country or your own age group when viewing the subject matter at hand. The simple fact of the matter is that, as of currently, there are more generations and more people that will view gay sexuality as something that is wrong.

Nothing I said was contradictory. Religious people can be sheep, as can the uneducated, as can normal people, as can the highly intelligent. Sheep are everywhere, especially in this age of internet consumption, where we are all hand-fed exactly what we want to hear and we can avoid what we don't like hearing.

I only know that you are trying to tell me your worldview and express it as fact, and I'm only going to tell you that I think your opinion on the topic of learned vs inherent sexuality is fake and gay.

It would seem that your opinion is the one that would be harder to change, as you seem to be quite set in it before you even heard my side of the argument I didn't know we were having.

Homophobia implies a fear of gay people.It was a quip against how we use the word phobia, not me saying that I wouldn't be considered homophobic under its current definition.

You assumed I wouldn't change my opinion on this topic, however I am very open to discussion and debate on every issue, regardless of how degenerate it is.

You're implying a lot that I haven't said. I grew up mostly atheist. I didn't rediscover religion until I was in my late teens. You assumed that I had a certain view on the sexual dichotomy.

I'd have to say it's a sad life indeed if your end goal is happiness. True meaning in life is found through being a good man, not from achieving happiness for yourself.
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Pls ban Communism and pedos

Last edited by VitaminKay; Dec 24, 2018 at 07:57 PM..
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