Original text:
"lol i was talking to some chubby military wannabe this morning, he was like "omg i cried of joy when they killed osama bin laden, 9/11 is avenged" do people really not realize that osama's been dead since like, 2002? he had kidney cancer or something"
...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:
" Come on baby I can tell you that this is the army, Dave today, today, Oh, my God, my God, how I started to cry, the tears, the joy to kill Osama bin Laden ,911 report. Everyone, from the year 2002, Osama bin Laden is dead, and it's a tumor or something, I don't know."

Original text:
"Masturbation is a sin praise allah"
...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:
"Masturbation, ladies and gentlemen, I thank God."

Original text:

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in go"

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"What I want this asshole is a mystery under the sea, and attack al-Qaeda, and the death of more than 300 people have been confirmed,I'm ready."

Original text:

"fuck her right in the pussy"

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"...Poppy."

"1. I don't need to know who you are; you created the abomination of an incest Family and left my pizza emoji out of your screenshot... your basic ass Samsung Note 1 obviously can't handle such high end grapikz. I dislike you. cunt lick."

...43 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"1. I'm pregnant, you should know, dirty family incest pizza, 1 Samsung side growing attention, of course, I love you grapikz all the cat spit."

"Adalia Rose ain't got no sex appeal but I still g'on stick my dick in that maggot infested mouth homie yafeel."

...10 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"Adalia rose charm, but I, sir. Wing Chun give my penis worm infection for each of my mouth yafeel."

"Mew mew"

...10 translations later, Yandex gives us:

"The Ministry of electricity and water Ministry of electricity and water"