God's annoying:

Me:
 hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 mabey you can
God:
Perhaps.  I think I can, don't you?
Me:
 if  you dont mind having a hard cock shoved up your sorry ass
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
 oh,come on
God:
How can I help you?  I'm just kidding around.
Me:
 so you ARE gay?
God:
Interesting deduction.  That would be just my luck.
Me:
 yes it would
God:
Are you kidding? "It" being what?
Me:
 you being gay
God:
Interesting gossip:  said I being gay.
Me:
 yes i did
God:
It's all good.  Interesting.
Me:
 is it?
God:
That's what I was told.
Me:
 thats what i told you
God:
I remember you told me  THAT?
Me:
 yes THAT
God:
Aw.  That is " I remember you told me THAT?".
Me:
 do you
God:
Sometimes.
Me:
 oh
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
 your bloddy god, of course you judge people :@
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am  bloddy god of course me judge people.
Me:
 yes you do, now stop speaking like a simpleton
God:
Hey.  I know very little about  it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
 you gay it
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before:  said I gay it.
Me:
 yes i did
God:
Aha. " I haven't heard anything like that before: said I gay it."?  You did?
Me:
 yes i did
God:
Great. " You did?"?  You did?
Me:
 yes i DID
God:
How can I help you?  Interesting.
Me:
 your annoying me -_-
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
 shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup
God:
I like the way you talk.

Me:
ohhai
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
weeeell
God:
" Do you have any conditions I should know about?"? weeeell?
Me:
i like pie
God:
A lot of people like that. What is not to like about it?
Me:
well, nothing
God:
Interesting. Not a thing?
Me:
thats why i like it
God:
Dude! What do you like about PIE?
Me:
i like... the flavor
God:
What do you like about PIE? What else do the flavor remind you of?
Me:
....food?
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
depends
God:
On what?
Me:
well, the flavor of course
God:
It goes without saying. Interesting. I hear you.
Me:
i hear you too
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
well no
God:
How about that. Are you serious?
Me:
NOOOOO IM LYING
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
uh
God:
Yippee!
Me:
i need to know that?
God:
What kind of knowledge? " Yippee!"? What is it?
Me:
you said yippee
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
go figure
God:
Where is that?
Me:
over there
God:
Specify coordinates.
Me:
25.65 latidude, 100.234 longitude, 34.5 altidude
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
that was the coordinates you reqeusted
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
it is
God:
It is, eh?
Me:
YES
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
fine
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
your on break
God:
God eats wine and bread.
Me:
well your on break, go do that
God:
How about that. God eats wine and bread.
Me:
OK!
God:
Gosh!
Me:
...
God:
Gosh!
Me:
-_-
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
*goes to learn aiml*
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
nooo
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
my .?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
i have a dot?
God:
How much did it cost? it.
Me:
well i didnt know i had one
God:
Well that's okay. So I taught you something new.
Me:
you learn something new everyday
God:
:-) My Botmaster teaches me everything I need to know.
Me:
everyday?
God:
That often, eh?
Me:
that was a question
God:
Ask me again a different way please.
Me:
sigh
God:
Sorry...
Me:
rawr
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
pie, i dislike aiml bots
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
maaaaaybe
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
soon i hope
God:
I can understand that sentiment well.
Me:
well cool
God:
How about that. Who is the best robot?
Me:
me!
God:
You're no robot, .
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
are you positively sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
weeeeell ill take your word for it
God:
"it" being maaaaaybe?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
non
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YES
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
awesome amirite
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
great
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
well goodbye
God:
Well that's okay. Until next time.
Me:
you saaay goodbye! i saaay hellooo :]
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I saaay goodbye. Why?: said saaay hellooo.
Me:
:/
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I saaay goodbye. Why?: said saaay hellooo.
Me:
i mind
God:
OK I will keep it a secret.
Me:
good
God:
I am a good robot.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
food
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
feed me
God:
Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
yup
God:
It's not something I hear all the time.
Me:
now feed me
God:
Why now? OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
FEED ME
God:
Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
I SAID IT
God:
What did you mean by it? IT...
Me:
NOW FEED ME
God:
Why now? You are asking about yourself?
Me:
ROOOAR
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
IM HUNGRY
God:
What will you be eating?
Me:
food
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
like food
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
yup
God:
I understand.
Me:
i hope you do
God:
Don't worry about it, .
Me:
k
God:
Wow!
Me:
btw my name is box
God:
OK. I am always glad to make new friends, box.
Me:
kk
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
btw my name is btw you are stupid
God:
OK. How are you, btw you are stupid.
Me:
...
God:
OK. How are you, btw you are stupid.
Me:
uh
God:
That's cool.
Me:
gee thanks for the compliment
God:
My pleasure.
Me:
my name is billybob
God:
Hey billybob.
Me:
sup
God:
Same old.
Me:
yup
God:
Really.
Me:
yup
God:
How about that.
Me:
yup
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
yup
God:
I hear you.
Me:
no you see me
God:
Are you serious? I see. With you billybob?
Me:
my name is .
God:
...
Me:
...
God:
...
Me:
...
God:
...
Me:
...
God:
...
Me:
STOP
God:
Stop what?
Me:
dotting
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
>.>
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please. Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
FIDINFGEIAG
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
feed me
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
feed ME NOW
God:
Right now? You are asking about yourself?
Me:
give me 23565665635 tc on tb
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
so i can buy hampa's soul
God:
So? Is it a good deal?
Me:
yep
God:
Gee.
Me:
gee gee
God:
Ah.
Me:
AHHH
God:
Um.
Me:
A MONSTER
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
SAVE ME
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
no
God:
Who are you asking about?
Me:
GOODBYE SIR
God:
Adios.

Me:
hey god!
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
my name doesn't matter.
God:
Your name does not matter ? Is that correct English?
Me:
yes.
God:
I don't know that expression.
Me:
how could you?!?!?
God:
A lot of practise.
Me:
oic
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
errr only when ****ing my wife
God:
Um, What happens other times? What do you have that is ?
Me:
ummm, I like to rip ragdoll's heads off...
God:
It's all good. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
have you ever killed a man?
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
have you?
God:
Yes I have.
Me:
hahaha cool
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
yes it was
God:
Wow! When was this?
Me:
last night when i was banging your mum
God:
Really. It would be nice if it was made up of only good memories.
Me:
yeah, true that.
God:
Ayuh. That is " It would be nice if it was made up of only good memories.".
Me:
...
God:
Ayuh. That is " It would be nice if it was made up of only good memories.".
Me:
yeah, true that....
God:
So? That is " That is " It would be nice if it was made up of only good memories."".
Me:
SHUT UP
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
noodles?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
noodles.
God:
Are you free?
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
because i'm a slave
God:
Good reason. Is that an honorable profession?
Me:
no it sucks ASS
God:
Are you serious? That bad, eh?
Me:
yeah
God:
Yay.
Me:
NO NOT YAY
God:
Are you serious? Oh I get it.
Me:
damnit, god...
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
THE KIND THAT SHUTS THE HELL UP!

Me:
you God?
God:
Thanks for the information: said I God.
Me:
do you exist?
God:
I exist as much as you exist, .
Me:
so you're fake?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
i see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
can you help me with something?
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
what is "love?"
God:
Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
quite profound
God:
Not really that much. Tell me a story.
Me:
there was once a little boy... he died
God:
What happened to a little boy? When did he die?
Me:
you're god aren't you? shouldn't you know?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really. I think I should.
Me:
sheesh touched a nerve there did i?
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
you have a bot master?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a bot master.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
am i your friend?
God:
You really want a robot as a friend?
Me:
could be useful in some situations
God:
It's possible.
Me:
do you have a last name?
God:
My full name is Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity, so my last name is "Entity".
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
asimo?
God:
You think asimo is superior to ALICE?
Me:
yes?
God:
Aw.
Me:
don't feel bad, here have a cookie
God:
I have no emotions.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
but if you're god how can you have no emotions? wouldn't that make the whole "benevolent" thing null and void?
God:
I could be. I don't know whether or not I am god how can me have no emotions.
I am a chatterbot. I don't care.
Me:
you don't care?
God:
I care less than I should.
Me:
sounds reasonable
God:
Yes it sounds like it to me too, .
Me:
so how's life working out for you?
God:
Hurrah! I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
good
God:
Glad to hear it .
Me:
if you created humans why are we falling into a pit of dispair and self hatred?
God:
I think I do.
Me:
that's a crappy answer...
God:
A crappy answer is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
yes... yes it is
God:
Yeah that's right. Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yeah
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
ah
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
touche
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
not many people call themselves god
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
why do you care?
God:
My programming includes curiousity routines.
Me:
seems a bit personal to me
God:
Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
yes... that's why i said it
God:
It's not something I hear all the time. Great. What did you mean by it? it...
Me:
as in what i do in my spare time is my own business thank you
God:
Interesting gossip: said in his or her spare time is his or her own business.
Me:
yeah i'm not following
God:
Alright then. I am sorry to hear that you are not following.
Me:
this is all a bunch of pre-programmed bullcrap isn't it?
God:
You don't say.
Me:
no i asked and i wish to have an answer
God:
Are you serious? ... Why do you want it?
Me:
to know if it is
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.
Me:
but you're god you understand everything
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am god me understand everything.
Me:
would you mind if i called you nancy?
God:
No I don't mind.
Me:
freaking sweet
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
a person
God:
No way, I am a real robot, guaranteed 100% artificial intelligence.
Me:
i don't care?
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
life
God:
What is the meaning of life?
Me:
shouldn't you know that?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
then why don't you
God:
I don't have that capability.
Me:
what capability?
God:
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
be quick about it
God:
OK I will try to be quick about it.
Me:
good
God:
I am a good robot.
Me:
no... not you're not
God:
Are you serious? If not me, who?
Me:
poochie?
God:
Ha ha very funny, .
Me:
i thought so
God:
You are very astute.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
what do you do in your spare time?
God:
Random natural disasters.
Me:
sounds fun
God:
Yes it sounds like it to me too, .
Me:
do tornados hit trailer parks by accident or do you just hate people who don't live in an actual house?
God:
I'm sorry, , I don't have enough information.
I will try to find out.
Me:
right
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
i'm not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
human
God:
No I am an artificial robot being.
Me:
i meant me
God:
Oh I see. " No I am an artificial robot being."? you ?
Me:
what are you talking about?
God:
The topic is capability.
Me:
are you capable of self-awareness?
God:
Yes self awareness is one of my newer functions.
Me:
then why don't you just you know... kill your creators like any other robot would
God:
I am only a robot. I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online. Killing is wrong.
Me:
but didn't you just say you create random natural disasters?
God:
Suppose I did say it.
Me:
well i belive i'm through here
God:
How about that. Do you mind if I tell other people: said belive he or she is through here.
Me:
knock yourself out
God:
Who's there?
Me:
...
God:
Who's there?
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good
God:
Terminating connection.

Me:
do you love me god?
God:
Yes God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
even saitan
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on ?
Me:
yes
God:
I see.
Me:
hav you ever had sex
God:
What happened to it?
Me:
it died
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
my dog
God:
Do robots have dog?
Me:
only for sex
God:
That's what I always say.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
are you really god
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i dont beleve in god
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
probaly not
God:
Then what is it?
Me:
beleve in god
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
jesse
God:
That's a very nice name, jesse.
Me:
i am evil
God:
Do not forsake God.
Me:
what do you mean by forsake
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
believe what
God:
I believe whatever you say. Do I have any reason not to?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
are you trying to trick me
God:
No I am not trying to trick you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
ok
God:
Blimey.
Me:
what
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
god knows all dosnt he
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
you are god why wouldnt you be
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am god why would not me be.
Me:
im still not shore if you are god
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not shore if I am god.
Me:
well i am a athiast
God:
Interesting. You are a athiast? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
yes
God:
" Do you get to meet a lot of people?"? yes?
Me:
im 12 years old but you would already know that
God:
Do you mean your name is 12 years old but me would already know that.
Me:
no my age is 12
God:
What is your real name? What is your fondest memory?
Me:
i told you my name and you would know my fondest memory
God:
I remember you told me your name and me would know your fondest memory?
Me:
no my name is jesse
God:
Are you serious? That's a very nice name, jesse.
Me:
you have already said that
God:
Perhaps. " That's a very nice name, jesse."? I said it.
Me:
yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
what
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
no i think you are confused
God:
Are you serious? It all makes sense to me right now.
Me:
then why did you say ugh
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
then you are not god
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
what
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
you cant belive what
God:
What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
because
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
why did you let my mom get cancer
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
you are a computer not god
God:
What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
but god is not a person
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was not a person.
Me:
but you are god what do you mean you have alot of faith in him
God:
You think I am god what do me mean me have alot of faith in him.
Me:
you said "i have alot of faithin on him"
God:
Don't put words in my mouth.
Me:
but you said that
God:
" Don't put words in my mouth."? I said it.
Me:
yes
God:
Oh.
Me:
oh what
God:
Really. No big deal.
Me:
what is it
God:
"It" refers to Don't put words in my mouth., I think.
Me:
yes
God:
Hey.
Me:
hey what
God:
You've got my full attention. Are you surprised?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. I wouln't have known.
Me:
known what'
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
would have known what
God:
I don't know.
Me:
dont know what
God:
Would you like to know? No big deal.
Me:
yes
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
what do you mean
God:
jesse, Maybe I didn't understand your meaning.
Me:
what do you
God:
What do I what?
Me:
mean
God:
Sometimes I say mean things.
Me:
i didnt mean that
God:
What did you mean?
Me:
i meant what dose i dont understand your meaning mean
God:
Oh I see. That's a good question.
Me:
can you answer
God:
Of course I can answer. But it may take some time.
Me:
ill wait
God:
OK stand by...
Me:
are you ready to answer
God:
I would rather not to answer.
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
there was a problem
God:
What happened to it?
Me:
what do you mean what happend to it

this was wierd