I login and download just fine but for some reason every room i try to join says not connected.... anyone know why?

Have you logged in ingame?

Main menu -> set up -> login

If there is stuff already there, erase it completely, and retype it.

IF it continues, see if it tells you why in chat.

i have and it doesnt say anything except downloaded .... thats it and i still cant connect.

Try deleting and redownloading it? You won't lose your progress, and it might fix the problem.

Check if the toribash is enabled in the firewall, if it is checked, uncheck it.