i prefer nervau's version, id give cnc but its obvious that you dont need it since you clearly know what youre doing, good job

bump need some more cnc up in this bizzy (thought it would get some traction after 5 years but i guess if i want something done right i gotta do it MY FUCKING SELF)

This poem offers a captivating exploration of emotions and existential themes, utilizing evocative imagery to convey a sense of vulnerability and transience. The use of phrases like "wings of sand" and "tears of night" paints vivid pictures that allow readers to visualize the delicate and ephemeral nature of the speaker's experiences. The juxtaposition of "fading into a forgotten dream" and "drowning in pure euthanasia" creates a tension between longing for a fading past and a desperate desire for release.


The concept of the "hivemind" consuming the speaker introduces an intriguing layer, suggesting a struggle between conformity and individuality. The phrase "blissfully numb" is particularly thought-provoking, as it encapsulates the paradoxical coexistence of surrender and pleasure in the face of overwhelming experiences.


However, while the poem's intention is clear, some areas might benefit from further elaboration or refinement. The transition from the third stanza to the fourth ("i'm breaking out. desolate echo chamber.") could be more seamless, providing readers with a stronger connection between the speaker's internal struggle and their attempt to break free. Additionally, the term "pure euthanasia" carries heavy connotations that might require more context or exploration to fully grasp its intended meaning within the poem's context.


In conclusion, "Pure Euthanasia" captures intricate emotions and ideas with its imagery and word choices, offering readers a journey through vulnerability and yearning. Strengthening the flow between certain sections and providing additional context could enhance the overall impact of this already compelling piece.