This a long joke, but it is surely worth reading.


After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together. Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix up at the boarding gate, and the man was told he would have to wait for a later flight. He tried to appeal to a supervisor but was told the airline was not responsible for the problem and it would do no good to complain. Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered that Miami Beach was having a heat wave, and its weather was almost as uncomfortably hot as Seattle's was cold. The desk clerk gave him a message that his wife would arrive as planned. He could hardly wait to get to the pool area to cool off, and quickly sent his wife an e-mail, but due to his haste, he made an error in the address. His message therefore arrived at the home of an elderly preacher's wife whose even older husband had died only the day before.
When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out an anguished scream, and fell to the floor dead. Her family rushed to her room where they saw this message on the screen: Honey, Departed yesterday as you know. Just now got checked in. Some confusion at the gate. Appeal was denied. Received confirmation of your arrival tomorrow. Your loving husband.
P.S. Things are not as we thought. You're going to be surprised at how hot it is down here.


poor lady xD

The best of the day!

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Ha ha ha, I'm still laughing
So epic

The winner of this day:

Loje

Thank you for the epic joke, Loje!
The 2 000 TC should be sent now.

Thanx man!


yea got the money.


I will keep searching for jokes...(hope I can win again XD.....if possible)

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

kk check this one out.

A man walks into a bar one night and asks for 3 drinks. The bartender asks the man what is wrong, to which the man replied, "My oldest son is a homosexual." So the bartender gives him 3 drinks.

A few months later the man walks in and asks the bartender for five drinks. Again the bartender asked the man what was wrong. "My second son is a homosexual." The bartender gives him five drinks, and the man goes on his way.

Several months later, he walks in again and asks for ten drinks. The bartender again asks what's wrong. "My youngest son just admitted he's homosexual."

To which the bartender replied, "My goodness, isn't there anybody in your family that like women?"

"Yeah, my wife does."

wait so you dont even make your own jokes?

ok. once there was a women from Boston mass, who went down into the the harbour up to her knees. it wont rime now, but it will when the tide comes in.

Are racist or sexually offenceve jokes bad? Or about jews/black people.

Culapou, you don't either, i heard your joke Way before i played TB.
God.

Ok, so....

The Phone rings at the FBI.
FBI:"hello?"
sam:"uhmm...This is Sam, Yeah my neighbor,John Smith, has cocaine in his firewood"
FBI:"thank you for the call, We'll get right on it"

The FBI comes and chops up his firewood, but find no cocaine.

Later in the day John gets a call
Sam:"Did the FBI come to your house?"
John:"Yep"
Sam:"Did they chop up your wood?"
John:"Yep"
Sam:"Good, Now its your turn, i need my garden plowed"

Edit:new joke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~

A door-to-door Vacuum salesman goes to the first house he sees, knocks on the door, and a real mean looking lady comes out. The salesman rushus in, and dumps Cow Shit all over.

He says : "Lady if this vacuum don't clean up this shit, I'll eat it myself"
She asks with a grin : "well, do you want ketchup with it?"
He says : "Why do you ask?"
She says : "we just moved in and haven't got electricity yet"