I have no job, no girlfriend, 2 grand in the bank (I think) and I am still living with my parents for economic reasons. Despite this wonderful, wonderful lifestyle, it is apparently socially FUBAR and completely unacceptable. Therefore, I have been considering moving out and sharing rent with some friends. (Yes, surprisingly, I have friends. Who'd have thought?) The thing is, I hate work. I hate dealing with people who apparently have wood for brains. Hence why I retreat from the outside world. I want a job which allows me to be a lazy sod and get paid adequate wages for it. NO OFFICE WORK.
I'm also reasonably good looking, but apparently I'm 'too nice' to women. What? Would they rather I treat them like shit?

You, dear reader. Please help me understand this fucking mad world I live in. Recommend a job or something. Entertain me.

Logic doesn't work in the world. That's all you really need to know.

OH MAH GOSH YOU SEEM SO DIFFERENT FROM OTHER PEOPLE. YOUR PROBLEMS ARE SO UNIQUE.

NO JOB!?!?! NO GIRLFRIEND?!?!? A MEH AMOUNT OF MONEY IN YOUR BANK!?!?! HATE WORK!?!?! HATE IDIOTS?!?!? WANT TO GET SOMETHING FOR NOTHING!?!? NOT GOOD WITH WOMEN?!?!

WHAT A FREAK YOU ARE.

(If you couldn't tell I was being sarcastic)

Oh and here a quick tip: Man up, no one cares.

Amazing. Really, I'm shocked. I know there's a lot of people like me out there, man. I'm not saying I'm unique or anything.

Then stop moaning :>

Why can't I moan? I like to moan. It relieves me.

Depends on their personality. Most of the time, you don't treat them like shit, but you also can't overdo it with the RL white knighting.

I'll just say that the situation you're in is still preferable to mine, Mine is way worse than yours, along with a few really fucked up and severely dysfunctional twists to it. But I don't ever talk about that.

D: I know all what you said till now,time for job list :
Make coffins,you can get some moneys for em and you make them when you want...
Security.
Crossing guard.
Beer tester.
Frog breeder.
Ticket seller.
SELL A KIDNEY !
Sell plasma. (i mean blood)
Manga drawer.
Artist.
Video game tester.

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Or simply go to an shop and sell stuff...
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And if you want to understand the world,go out whit a freaking axe and start swinging it randomly,FUCK THIS WORLD.
SHIT ! MONEYS ARE SHIT ! FUUUU...

Well, I'm sure your friends would be very happy living with you if you help with the rent. Then you can buy a sportcoat and a top hat (preferably white) and get a great job. P.S. I believe I know you...

Donate hair..
Sell illegal movies..(Oh wait..You will be arrested o.0)
Just donate some stuff..