when trying to join a server it says "not connect, click to select player" anyone know whats wrong?

Do you mean it says "Not Connected", if so, try waiting a few minutes as that error usually occurs and goes randomly.

It's either servers problem, or it's your internet.
Try again in few minutes and it should be ok, if that's the server problem. If not, fix your internet.

Read over this: http://forum.toribash.com/showthread.php?t=214209

And check to make sure that none of the listed problems are issues for you.