Going into the Civil War all Lincoln wanted to do was preserve the Union. He was willing to do anything make make sure the North and South stayed together. He would’ve let slavery stay, but it didn’t work out like that. Later on in the war he took abolishing slavery as another one of his goals. After the North won at Gettysburg, Lincoln delivered the Emancipation Proclamation. This freed slaves in the South. How did the Emancipation Proclamation help the North?
The Emancipation Proclamation also made it so that black people could fight for the Union. This led to a new wave of soldiers fighting for the North. A wave motivated to win the war, kick the South’s butt, and end the suffering all the African Americans had to endure! With all these motivated new soldiers, the North had a sudden new advantage. Many of these new soldiers were brilliant, courageous, and amazing for the war all around. Some names to drop might be William Harvey Carney, Christian Fleetwood, James H. Harris, and Alfred B. Hilton, Martin R. Delany.
There are stories of black Civil War soldiers fighting so courageously, that they’d risk their lives several times within minutes. They were so motivated to teach the South who was boss. They did, they taught the South who was boss, and fought for their fair treatment. Though it didn’t come for another few decades, blacks were still able to do much more than before! Such as: attend school, own land, make a business, make a life for themselves. That is what many did, but one man in particular did so much more than all the rest with his freedom. Martin R. Delany was a(n) editor, author, physician, doctor, colonizationist, and black nationalist. He also happened to fight in the war.
There are other shocking stories of people fighting for freedom till death. Blacks fighting for their rights alongside whites. This allowed them to be on same planes and not judge each other as much. They’d risk their lives for each other, and after someone does that, it’s really quite difficult to hate them because of the color of their skin. Fighting together, against a common enemy can bring people closer together, and I feel like that’s what happened between the black people and white people who fought together in the war.
Bigotry diminished a bit, after the war. Blacks moved on and lived their lives as citizens of the U.S. Nothing except a new mind set changed for the whites. Though the South was still prejudice towards black people, they were living a better life than before, nonetheless. This is how slavery ended. This was a turning point in the U.S. For everyone. This was the road to the nation we have today.
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This is what I came up with... Thanks for the help!
The Emancipation Proclamation also made it so that black people could fight for the Union. This led to a new wave of soldiers fighting for the North. A wave motivated to win the war, kick the South’s butt, and end the suffering all the African Americans had to endure! With all these motivated new soldiers, the North had a sudden new advantage. Many of these new soldiers were brilliant, courageous, and amazing for the war all around. Some names to drop might be William Harvey Carney, Christian Fleetwood, James H. Harris, and Alfred B. Hilton, Martin R. Delany.
There are stories of black Civil War soldiers fighting so courageously, that they’d risk their lives several times within minutes. They were so motivated to teach the South who was boss. They did, they taught the South who was boss, and fought for their fair treatment. Though it didn’t come for another few decades, blacks were still able to do much more than before! Such as: attend school, own land, make a business, make a life for themselves. That is what many did, but one man in particular did so much more than all the rest with his freedom. Martin R. Delany was a(n) editor, author, physician, doctor, colonizationist, and black nationalist. He also happened to fight in the war.
There are other shocking stories of people fighting for freedom till death. Blacks fighting for their rights alongside whites. This allowed them to be on same planes and not judge each other as much. They’d risk their lives for each other, and after someone does that, it’s really quite difficult to hate them because of the color of their skin. Fighting together, against a common enemy can bring people closer together, and I feel like that’s what happened between the black people and white people who fought together in the war.
Bigotry diminished a bit, after the war. Blacks moved on and lived their lives as citizens of the U.S. Nothing except a new mind set changed for the whites. Though the South was still prejudice towards black people, they were living a better life than before, nonetheless. This is how slavery ended. This was a turning point in the U.S. For everyone. This was the road to the nation we have today.
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This is what I came up with... Thanks for the help!
One suggestion; After saying 'This was the road to the nation we have today.' finish with THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!.
Good morning sweet princess
Other than that I have no idea because I don't do history. Maybe a little less casualisms for the war effort e.g. "kick the South's butt" because it ends up sounding like you are glorifying the war and belittling the horror of the conflict. Also why the brackets in "was a(n) editor" .
But seriously (depending what year you are in:/) that essay sounds pretty good, it has an interested and enthusiastic tone and enough detail to show that you did a decent amount of research.
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Yeah, probably listen to Ele since he is an actual history teacher...
But seriously (depending what year you are in:/) that essay sounds pretty good, it has an interested and enthusiastic tone and enough detail to show that you did a decent amount of research.
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Yeah, probably listen to Ele since he is an actual history teacher...
Last edited by Zelda; May 27, 2015 at 01:16 AM.
Reason: <24 hour edit/bump
Good morning sweet princess
Yeah, use less emotive language and more academic language. You shouldn't be using '!' ever in a history essay. Just before the conclusion, you switched to 1st person and said 'I feel'.. You shouldn't ever, unless they say otherwise, write in 1st person during an essay. This has to do with academic language again.
