When I was in school doing work I wondered what did I do wrong to my clan members that made leave? I was a leader of a toribash clan called The Deadly Alliance (TDA) in 2012 (I was 12). Everything was going well. I had my friends there, we got people applying to join. But then everyone started to hate me, then everyone left one after the other.

I want to know what I could've done better to keep it strong. I was confident, well mannered, nice but I might of been to strict. I want to know if I make another clan what could I do to be a great leader.

Could you provide more information about why everyone started to hate you? If you're looking to solve a problem, the best place to start is to identify what the problem is.

Everybody has their own management strategies, so I'll write about mine and the parts of it I think people would benefit from integrating into their strategy.

I made a clan called tl;dr (now absorbed into Inq) at the start of last year and it became official within 2 months of its creation. I'm not going to give you a guide on how to get your clan official (I've done that already), rather I'll explain how I approached leadership.

I was always aware that my primary role was to act as a peace-maker and to create a positive environment for my members to feel comfortable in. I never picked fights or acted in a negative way towards anyone. If there was disunity and some members were fighting with others I'd do my best to quash it. Failing that, I'd remove the member that was instigating it. My job was to calm people down.

My other job was to motivate the clan members into doing great things. If you want a great example of someone that's a good motivator check out WAPOWs DSC early on when Krulls was active and leading. He would constantly and publicly recognise/praise the work everyone did. He'd support and direct everyone's enthusiasm toward achieving the clan's goals.

People don't like being bossed around. Rather than being strict with people to get them to follow rules/meet goals, you need to inspire them to want to do it on their own. If you're never heavy-handed with them then, when you encounter a situation that for whatever reason requires a stronger touch, you are far more impactful and your members will recognise that they need to pay attention.

One final thing, always think before you post. Think about what effect it'll have. If it'll have a negative effect, don't post it. Rewrite it so it'll result in something constructive or don't post it. Your members are looking to you as an example on how to act. You set the standard. If you're setting a disruptive standard, so will they. If you're setting a constructive standard, so will they. You set the tone of the clan, make sure it's a positive one.

I had a fight with a guy called Killtime, and then my good frimd called Nerdyteen (at the time) started to flame calling me a "sad shit". We all hated Killtime. He flooded our forum with hateful comments then out of no were Nerdyteen started to talk rubbish to me. Me and Nerdy went back to back but then EMG or EGM (I forgot) started to back him up (Killtime and EMG were in the same clan). After that we started to fight about who made the clan. Then I started to kick people and some people left.

It sounds like you were a good leader. Your main role was the peace maker but if someone was wrong in the clan I would've told them. I wouldn't say I was bossy but I would say I was reckless

I don't think clans are that serious as you make them to be.

Being a general likeable guy to your clanmates with a clear effort to keeping your clan organized enough to become official. Shouldn't think highly of your position of leader, and just an average member that happens to have the power to call shots and manage the clan; as I wouldn't run a clan on your own without input from your members.

I see. When I was the leader I aimed for us to be the best so I was being strict and a douchebag. I tried to hard I didn't really think of anyone above me at that time. I thought I was the god of the clan so I wasn't being fair.

I had a team on Minecraft on a server called MineZ (Minecraft version of DayZ). My team was great but again I aimed to high and if someone messed up in a team, I'd flame them. I'm learned from many people that I shouldn't aim to high now. I should have taken it step by step.

As TyZi was saying, you're only as powerful as your members perceive you to be. A good leader of any clan is someone who can also problem solve, if you see 2 members having beef you try to fix it (Of course every situation is different). A likable leader is someone who you know will be there when needed but isn't intrusive. Someone who listens to opinions but isn't afraid to be critical of those opinions as well.

Also this thread might be better in off topic unless it's guided somewhere.

I've had 2 years of leadership experience so far, and I've found out that you need to make the clan welcoming and be sure that everyone in your clan is connected and gets along well and actually works along side one another in order for there to be any real success. A clan full of disputes and especially a clan that rarely gets the chance to mess around and have fun usually won't last long at all.

If people think you're rude or start leaving without notice, ask them what's wrong with the clan and what made them leave, and then push to improve those things. I've lead New Era for a pretty long time, and it's died about twice. Currently Ne is becoming more well put together and becoming a closer clan in general once again, because i listen to what members have to say and improve things quite frequently depending on what they want.

Another important thing is to always make sure that your members have a good say in who joins the clan and who doesn't. You also need to be sure that applicants are able to fit in with the rest of your clan mates. Your members are the foundation and overall structure of your clan, and how your members are will determine how well put together your clan will be. As for being strict with your leadership, there are times when it is necessary and other times when it's not, it's always good to have lenience and to make connections with your members and be sure that everyone has fun. Next time you decide to make a clan, make a good habit of asking your members how well they like the clan so far and if there's anything you can do to improve the clan in a positive way.

If you need help down the road don't be afraid to come to me for advice, i'm always happy to help out.


Try not to push for being the best, push for making your clan well connected and fun. I speak from experience when i say that pushing to be the best and focusing on just that will lead to stress and clan instability. It'll happen on its own with time, not with force.

Yeah, I can't see any reason not to move this to off topic. More people can talk about it there than they could here, and it would probably count as concluded in rapid threads. I would suggest treating this as an opportunity to provide opinions on what makes a good leader in general, rather than specifically 16bars could be a better leader.

a good leader has to inspire passion in their followers.
(not really applicable to toribash clans)

also bringing bagels never hurt anyone either.

To me, a good leader is someone who is inspirational. A good leader is someone who can get something done in that way and reach a common goal. Some people tend think that a leader is like a management job at a store or something. As I do not think they are opposites, I have to say that being a leader takes different assets that you need to have in order to be successful.

The biggest quality I think a leader should have though, is to take healthy responsibility for the team.