Well, this is it. The end of all things. And when I say the end of all things, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Normally I'd try to have something ironic there, but all the emotions make irony seem worthless. So don't expect any clarification. Just saying.

So I didn't actually expect to get emotional writing this, because I've been feeling pretty apathetic about everything as of late. But, well.. fuck. Memories and threads and them times in the chat and all the feels. If I were still capable of tears, I'd be bawling right now. Probably. Feels like I would, anyway.

I vaguely remember that time when I was losing repeatedly to Rainbowz for about two hours in an Aikido match, however long ago it was. And then she told me to apply to the clan way back when, and then that was a whole thing. And then clan names were changing and there was merging and shit was happening and it was confusing, but in the meantime there were stupid threads and conversations and matches. And it was fucking beautiful.

Then there was the whole fucking shit with the poetry stuff. And then SOMEONE tried to make it look like I'd copied something from some widow on that poetry site. My rage/confusion/mild amusement could not have been measured. That was a thing. What I was more angry about was that when ever WHOEVER it was tried to make that poetry look like it was stolen from a widow, they didn't bother to take out the references to numerous web-series, and lines from various rap/hip-hop songs from some of those said web-series. If people are going to try and make someone look bad, they should at least do it right. Just saying. 

Think I got a little off-track there. Anyway, I never got to know any of you anywhere near as well as I would've liked, but that's my fault for being an inactive bitch. At this point, all of the memories are sort of blending together, though that may be because of me getting my second wind + copious amounts of caffeine.

The point is, in this rambling clusterfuck of words that I'm writing, is that I fucking love you guys. Maybe love is too strong a word, and maybe that love is only there sometimes. And it's possibly fleeting. At least I've said it though. And that's what matters. I think.

But I'm going back to my long-lost love now, who is being pulled from the depths of dead clans back in to the light. And this is the part where, if this was any other clan, I'd write lines and lines of break-up clichщs. I won't though, because I'm feeling way too emotional right now to write bullshit like that. So yeah.

This is goodbye.

Bye bye ColdHot, wish you luck in whatever you feel like doing.

ily and shit <3
Now I'm wishing I'd chosen ColdHot as my name. Feh.

Goodbye ColdHot.
This is the end.