A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees one of the laborers on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can't hear. So, the guy on the third floor tries to use signs. He points to his eye, meaning, "I", then at his knee, meaning, "need", then he moves his hand back and forth, meaning, "handsaw".
The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and begins to masturbate.
The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the first floor yelling, ''What the hell is wrong with you!?! Are you stupid or something? I was saying that I needed a handsaw!''
The laborer looks at the carpenter and says, ''I knew that. I was just trying to tell you that I was coming.''

Sounds like something I'd do.

Lol

Obama was on his way for a speech flying in a jet, when he said "I could drop 1000$ out the window and make someone very happy. And his wife replyed "I could drop 10 100$ note's out the window and make 10 people happy. The pilot over heared there conversation he chuckled then said "I could throw you both out the window and make million's happy.

One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes.

Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?"
His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?"
"No", said Little Johnny.
His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."

The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer.
He asked,"Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?"
His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?"
"No" said Little Johhny.
"Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied.
The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?"
Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?"
His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!"
Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself. These are my cookies!"

Love this one.

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Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.
''Isn't it wonderful?'' Brad exclaims. ''All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.''
''He's happy now," says the nurse. "But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.''

Those ones you play are very funny XD. I don't know how to make the little box thing so heres a link :3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iz92ADKU8U

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Here is some Angry Cat. They are semi funny.

Hahah, so funny!

While not worded the same, this is how traffic signs look to me.

Oh Inferno thrust me... in Poland everything's possible :>

Also just found this on 4chan >.<

Um, nice pic?

If you've seen "Dumb Ways To Die" you'll think this is very funny XD

Trolololo :v