Toribash
Original Post
Why Parrot is Better Than Duck
please help me im being held against my will to write these things i cant even fap anymore my hand hurts

Informative Essay On Why Duck Sucks

There are about 146 species inside the anatidae family, which includes ducks, geese, and swans. There are 393 species of parrots. That's more than twice the amount of species the entire family of ducks, geese, and swans contains.

How is this relevant? Well, other than the fact that parrots are more evolved and fit for survival, there is significance in the numbers. Also, try getting a duck to talk to a four year old. Didn't think so.

Allow me to use high level mathematics to explain our superiority:

393 - 146 = 247

2(4 + 7) = 22

22 spelled backwards is 4

Duck has 4 letters

The duck is so simple in its existence that I can generate one with mere math. Watch; I'll do it again. I won't even use math this time. I'll use poetry.

Roses are red, Violets are blue,
If you're a duck, then fuck you.

Here's a haiku describing our dominance.

Ducks are horrible
They are a blot on this earth
Parrots are the best

Perhaps you need more. Lets look at the word origin of duck.

Originally Posted by Entirely Reliable Source
The word duck comes from Old English dūce "diver", a derivative of the verb *dūcan "to duck, bend down low as if to get under something, or dive"...

Do you know what they're getting under? Us, the parrots. How do we know? The information goes on to say this.

Originally Posted by Entirely Reliable Source
...because of the way many species in the dabbling duck group feed by upending

They feed by sticking they're asses in the air, and shove the rest of their bodies into the water. Doesn't that sound rather submissive to you?

You could argue that ducks are able to live on both land and water, but do you really want to live in that horrible wetland? Humans throw their shit in there, quite literally too. Us parrots are intelligent enough to deceive people into taking us into their homes, and giving us food. Then we fly out the window when they're sleeping, (sorry tommy).

Ducks may have webbed feet, but really who needs them when you can learn more than 350 words?

Ducks are also very barbaric, unlike the highly civilized parrot. Don't believe me?

Originally Posted by Entirely Reliable Source
It’s a shock to discover that male ducks are the rapists of the bird world. Often, a gang of three or four of them attacks a female duck, sometimes resulting in her injury or death.

If you're a duck, and you're wondering why you have three dads, this is why.

Originally Posted by Entirely Reliable Source
Since male ducks don’t share in the raising of their young, their programming doesn’t include protecting the mother of their children — they only stick around until the eggs are laid. Their real interest is in copulating with as many females as they can get their feathers on.

If you're a duck, and you're wondering why you don't have a dad, this is why.

If you're not a duck and these things still apply, well...

Plus, ducks live for an average of 10 years, (with Mallards being 20). Parrots can live up to 95 years. Literally we could diss your entire family tree. This also confirms that every duck member is either 10 or younger.

Including MrJingles. He smells too. Like a duck.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
tsu tsu cuckoo
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[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
click my sig for a great time (WIP)
im smoking weed out of a pussy filled with money i like this
[duck] 01101000 01101001 01110000 01101111 01110100 01101001 01100010 01101111 01110010
Last edited by hipotibor; Jul 1, 2016 at 09:42 PM. Reason: this image is more fitting than the first one