humor memes are obviously made to be funny (to an audience.) (Every type of deliberate humor is aimed at some imagined target audience, broad or narrow. Which includes my ability to make humor aimed directly at my own sensibilities, which may or may not land on anyone else, which isn't my concern.)

somewhere in this conversation you did say some things i agreed with mixed with things i think sound insane, so idk what your stance is really. I'm still mad about the phrases "You're not funny" and "humor-wank", not because I think I'm objectively funny, but because I'm definitely subjectively funny to myself (with no illusions of my humor being comprehensible to anyone else in particular), and I don't need you hanging some big, shitty, jeering, false, completely unnecessary insecurity over it. Especially one based on such flawed logic.

if you've got some ridiculously oppressive normative beliefs clawing at your natural individual creative expressive self, i hope you get rid of them so you can relax a bit and just focus on doing what you want to do. (Which isn't hedonism if what you really want isn't hedonistic, ha ha.) Instead it seems like you feel some kind of pressure to do some kind of objectively-right thing. Objectively-Right Toribash. Objectively-Right Humor. it's all bullshit imo. it's just consensus and patterns and there's no obligation to match yourself to the patterns. Objective Rightness exists only in the very clear-cut parts of very technical contexts, but that's all. It's not a concept to apply to humans. Do what you most want to do. Express yourself, not some idealized standard self with idealized standard humor and idealized standard capabilities.

that's my stance. embrace the exact version of humanity that you embody. that's you.

feel free to completely misunderstand what I mean by "do what you most want to do" and call it wank, again. i just want you to be free, instead of being so weighed down by venom that it starts leaking out of your mouth, which is my current assessment of your current state.

if you really think high realism is the way to go in toribash, then I already laid out some very basic gameplay rules and mechanics you can think about to achieve that.

i'm a beginner sparrer so I can't help with movements much besides running/getting back up, but i've not been running consistently. its pretty obvious from our last spar, which was pretty amateurish, so I’m glad we see a way forward. I’m glad you liked your spin and kicks, I thought they were cool too. If you were doing something else the rest of the time, you failed to share that information and essentially alienated me from whatever you were doing; if you were under the impression that you were telling a joke, then this never reached me. I think it's valid to laugh at whatever you think is funny, and even share that with other people but you didn’t communicate anything to that effect to me. Otherwise I would have laughed, at least in appreciation.

When you told me you thought the replay was supposed to be amateurish I was pretty shocked. Despite all the things you put into making it anything but, I thought you would appreciate how amateurish it was anyway. I guess not.'

i wish i found toribash funny.

For reference, I had very little idea what your objective was either, so I was pretty alienated from what you were doing, too. But, for reference, that's kind of a usual thing with you, from my perspective. I haven't found you to be one to explain yourself that straightforwardly. I explain a lot about myself totally uninvited but I'll accept that I could've explained myself better here. I was kind of letting you take the lead since it's "your game", but wasn't sure where you were going with that lead. But I didn't express that either, which was my loss.

Seeing as I wasn't sure what you were doing, what your goal was, or how you would react to anything, I think I mostly had an insular objective of experimenting, and that experimentation wandered into "that looks funny to me so I'll do it" regions. Things did turn out funny-to-me in parts, and it would've been a bonus if you'd found it funny too, but that wasn't my actual objective. I'll admit to still being a little surprised that you found none of it at all funny, and have never found Toribash funny, but that's just a trivial miscalculation on my part re: your sense of humor. Being "funny in general" takes estimating the audience's sense of humor correctly, but this is still just a single case of slight failure, so it's still pretty rude and stupid to declare that I'm "not funny, period" from that.

I take "You're not funny" to mean "you have no grasp of anyone's sense of humor besides your own", and I definitely disagree with that. But in some other sense I guess you could sort of say I'm "not funny," in that I'm usually not primarily aiming to be funny to other people (except anyone who also happens to appreciate the joke). I don't care to try that hard to match other people; I'll just be myself and if they happen to get it then that's a bonus. Other people tend to be themselves anyway, and I tend to not get it (or get it but find it uninteresting), so it seems like a fair reaction by me.

That's a relief.

Noted. I'm pretty sure I made some remarks that at least expressed that I liked some of the weirder things I was managing to do, but what I meant was that I found them funny, and I could've said that clearly instead of alluding to it subtly. If we're in an Era of Straightforwardness now.

This sounds a bit like you thought that I thought I was genuinely being "good at Toribash", which: no, I knew I wasn't suddenly a master of Toribash after just a few days of playing. A master would have way better planning and tighter control, for one. If I said anything that gave the opposite impression, it was probably partly a subtle-bordering-on-unintelligible joke. If you actually really prefer straightforwardness, and would like me to start questioning you every time you say something subtle-bordering-on-unintelligible, I can do that.

It wasn't "supposed to be amateurish" per se, but it was unavoidably fated to be amateurish and I didn't care to waste any effort "playing to win" (trying to look polished) when I still needed to "play to learn" (explore and attempt wild things and observe). But still: If you'd declared a goal to "look polished" then I would've tried to do that specifically, if I knew it was what you wanted to aim for. It would still turn out looking amateurish (being a first try) but I'd welcome your critiques in that case.

Also I saw in the notification email what your original, knee-jerk version of that reply was (including the dull phrase "you're still not funny"), which you then completely replaced with something with way more depth and clarity sometime during the next three hours. so I guess I should give you more time to edit your replies in general. or to elaborate on your replies in chat contexts. Hell, since this response by me is so fucking long I may as well hop off here for a while to give you plenty of time to process your response.

I also wanna bring this question back up for kicks:

If we play Apex, what will you set as your objective? (If I know this, I can act around it.) For instance, if you genuinely wanted to improve at various aspects of the game (positioning, movement techniques, decision-making, shooting), I'd find it interesting to see if I could successfully guide you to improving, especially given your own self-estimation as Lead Weight.

*kanaya clubs quadrant mode that I forget the name of that she does; enters the rooms and places one hand on each of ur faces, like just sweaty palmy fingers smushed a little too uncomfortable against both of ur eyes*

Yooooooo what’s happenin dawgs, what’s so funny, me mateys. Brack Obama, I understand your desire to do and perceive things however you want, but the fact that you think your actions imply easily readable thoughts or motives, you’re wrong. Your fellow fruity glute wants you to express yourself and not assume that she knows about your situation and thoughts.

Also why the hell are you jumping into assuming her motives and thoughts? Thinking that a statement she says is full of irony and humor? Yo, do you know that’s what projecting your own condition onto someone else is? Ultimately, you have no clue what the absaglute fruit thinks, so stop theorizing on other people’s thoughts and ways. People, especially the 3 of us, are complex beings with complex feelings. We’re not just one thing, we’re not very “tangible people”. Absaglute, be a lil more patient with brack, he’s smart and he means well, he’s doing what he knows, and he knows a lot. He just has kinks to work out in relation to interacting with other people. He admires u a lot and doesn’t wish to cause a br8k in the fl0w.

I don't think I think that, or I wouldn't spend so much time explaining my thoughts and motives. But I should probably keep this in mind, given that I did miss some key points where I should've explained myself even more than I already do.
I'm trying to challenge her to come up with an explanation for how "unconventional"/"weird" the way she often talks is. An explanation that doesn't involve her pandering to her own private sense of humor (or fun, or interest), since she expressed opposition to pandering to one's own sense of humor.

I assume that if she wanted to imitate "completely normal/generic speech patterns" (as in completely basic, uncreative language oriented around straightforwardness) then she could. That seems like a polite assumption, plus she often switches to talking more straightforwardly when she's serious. Like a lot of times in this conversation. While a lot of her earlier replies to this thread have lots of "unnecessary" elements occasionally resulting in "unclear" meanings. I'm trying to understand how much she's conscious of that and what she thinks of why she does that.

And when I say "unnecessary," I don't mean "bad", I just mean "they make the message less literal and more abstract." "Unnecessary" elements are essential if you're trying to be personally expressive (of feelings and moods), but being "more personally expressive" goes hand-in-hand with being "less clear to everyone," and is fundamentally self-pandering. (Which is neither good nor bad. It's just a thing with pros and cons.)

It's a bit rude of me to be so directly challenging (stating my perceptions almost as fact) but she was being a bit rude and challenging too (stating her own perceptions as fact) and I'm often kind of passive and unchallenging so I'm curious how she responds to higher challenge levels.

edit: I'll admit that I should also try to be more straightforward, and leave less to guesswork (e.g. guessing about other people, or saying things that leave people to guess what I think). I'll try to explain my view even harder, and ask questions to reveal other peoples' views when they're unclear to me, even more aggressively. That sounds like a good plan. I don't know if that sounds like a good plan. I find it hard to go in that direction (of trying to maximize "clarity") without feeling like I might be being controlling/restrictive. But I try to stress how much I want to hear other people voice their own interests and observations, and ask their own questions.

yeah the spar was pretty weak. I know, too.

usually when i say more i'm trying to say less. if someone laughs that's on their end, not mine

i would play apex to figure out how to play apex. since it's a reflexive game i would probably like it even after executing the strategy become boring. but I don't have the reflexes.
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@fluffs post another song, i want to gauge your musical taste. do a song based on... a dream you've had.


also request something from me, anything is good.

i am getting even more on-board with the idea that i can be a lot more straightforward and that it'll probably be good. i also got the sense that i can probably take you at your word more than i do, so i guess that conversation accomplished something.

i want to post a selfie to update everyone on what i look like, but i'm having trouble picking a facial expression. here's a 2am-and-tired neutral facial expression.i think you were asking fluffs to request something from you, but personally i vote "post a selfie".

i just changed my apex name to "Bloodhound105" because, damn, i'm currently just some random who plays Bloodhound, so that's a reasonable name. I started at "Bloodhound1" and went up from there and 105 was the first number that wasn't taken.

also: regarding "how to play Apex", there's actually a bit of a fundamental ambiguity to Apex: You have to pick between playing to win or playing to get kills. Going for kills is a good way to improve at combat, but a bad way to win that specific round. Playing to win the round can be boring, since it can be a lot of sitting around. People in the unranked game mode tend to play for kills (running towards gunfire), while people in the ranked mode are much more likely to play very conservatively to try to win.

Another ambiguity is character selection: You can pick the "meta" characters like Wraith and Pathfinder if you want to maximize your odds of success, or you can pick "off-meta" characters if you like experimenting with other options.
Nice.
if the mouse sensitivity you've played with in the past was pretty high, then you might find that you at least have better reflexes than you think, with a lower mouse sens and some time to adjust (and improve in general). I've seen enough examples of people who thought they just had bad aim, whose aim improved a bunch once they lowered their sens and adjusted to the lower sens. My mouse is set to 800 DPI and my in-game sensitivity is set to 2.0. Could you check what your mouse's DPI is and what your mouse sensitivity is set to in Apex?

thanks for the request


bntt you can do the dream request too.


have you considered growing out your facial hair. the mustache stubble is really noticeable. would it be better to just let it be, or is that not an option

I’ve had dramatic dreams recently but I haven’t found a particular song/songs that quite fit yet. So as a replacement, here’s a song that encompassed my past life


And here’s a snippet of my current life lol

@bntt what i really want to request is a tuna sandwich. but i requested dreams instead. you don't have to give me either.

if i was a guy i would have a ton of facial hair. because I look best a little scruffy. it's true. my wiener is huge.

it might not work for you though. the huge wiener thing. loser.

@fluffs your past life is chilly.

do, things about your ancestry next


i'm bored but i haven't gotten to listening to your stuff with proper headphones. i can't move my legs. i'll get there