you should never feel guilty for what goes on in your nogging my friend
the subjectivity of life's struggles is what makes us human. I am far better off than somebody in Somalia, I have the privilege of having had an education and parenting good enough to keep me learning and mentally stable, I don't go hungry, I speak 3 languages and some to spare, I am healthy and I have all my limbs, although my internet may be faulty I still have a PC that is working and enough free time as to nurture myself, I play trumpet, work out, I am past my worst days and for that I feel grateful.
I have had real close connections to people with depression and the last thing I'd want is give context to your guilt, or anything, everyone is going at their own pace and everyone has their advantages, disadvantages, fortunes, and mishaps, never let a comparison get you down because nobody ever has gone exactly through what you have gone through, and you are stronger than you were yesterday for being here today, no doubts about that and no excuses on it, feeling better is a matter of time, in my opinion reaching happiness is unrealistic, reaching a level of baseline wellness is what one should strive forwards. There would be no good times without the bad, and vice versa, it is only through peaks that emotion can be felt.