Charge!!!!!!.Said Vipertech. "For freedom".Said Assazin. "Watch out!.Said PhyscoXxXx with anger in his voice". "Hahaha you have no skill in war physco". Said Fieryomega.Physco leap at fieryomega but fieryomega shot physco in the chest with two plows of fists."OW!!!!!". Said PhyscoXxXx With pain in his voice
."Physco get up now, don't let me beat you". Said Vipertech. Suddenly physco got by will power and attacked fieryomega with brute force."Ow!!!.Said Fieryomega with shooting pain courseing thru his body."its time to end this".Said PhyscoXxXx while he pulled out his sword.As physco swung his sword somebody blocked it with their arm."You wannna fight you got one".Said Nate6299. So they fought and physco killed nate."RAWR!!!!!!!!!!".Said PhyscoXxXx as he took off nate6299 head off. "You will pay". Said fiery as he ran away.And physcoxxxx and hampa talked and handskaked. "PhyscoXxXx I have something for you".Said Vipertech."What is it?.Said PhyscoXxXx with pain in his eyes."its a custom belt".Said Vipertech."I'l name it The Demon belt ok".Said PhyscoXxXx
THE END Pls rate (1-10) and comment

Better than the last story by far - 10/10
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Favourite word = "handskaked"

It was excellent as usual, however I'm just a little disappointed that you didn't include "said 'x' with vemon in his voice".
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9.5/10

10/10. Can I be in your next story?

10/A, would watch again.

I have to admit you keep improving with each story. Keep it up. 10/10

These Stories, so beautiful. 1000/10

Serious post kgo: Grammar=AAAHHHHh and you don't need a descriptive word every sentence, you keep improving but you have a way to go.

If you have to write Chac in then you have to have someone sucking his dick because that's just what you do. Also write me in too because if you don't I'm going to write a strongly worded letter (with good grammar) to you telling you that you suck and I hate you.

"PhyscoXxXx delivers yet another awe-inspiring edition in his "Toribash Story" series."
"...Will leave readers sitting at the edges of their seats wanting more..."
"7.9/10"
-chrisfinne reviews



Work on improving your grammar, correct writing form, and character development. You've got the ideas there, you just need to efficiently relay them in text form