I recently talked to this person about how we perceive reality and happiness. It got really deep at one point and triggered something in me, it felt like the only way to describe it as it 'freed my mind.'

We all fear things that hurt us, we are a constant reaction to pains that we have gone through. We are some type of clay that gets molded through our experiences. We discussed how our fears are in place to protect us, but the more fears we have (walls), the more we are actually hiding ourselves from understanding everything. I realised that all my anxieties and sadness are just a reaction to my fears. The thing is though, we don't have to fear anything. Sure some things are dangerous, but just learn about them. If we don't understand something then it's always going to scare us, unless we are open to the knowledge it brings. Think about any little insecurity you have, and then realise what caused it, what lesson you learnt from that thing that hurt you. Learn about it, you become better than it.

Whenever I've been scared to talk publicly it's a fear that someone could make fun of me. This means it's happened in the past, someone has done it to me and I put up a defense for it. What I don't know is that everyone is just as scared as the next person. If someone thinks you're going to be embarrassed about something, it's because they are too. They don't know you, they're reacting out of their own insecurity. This isn't a way to think you're better or smarter than someone else, it's knowledge that makes you stronger than their power to hurt you.

Fluffy knows herself, and that's why she can publicly be a lesbian and dress the way she wants. It's not her issue, it's someone elses if they have some sort of prejudice to that. They're angry at that part of themselves. Sorry if that's too revealing or something. Everyone of you guys that is either softly spoken or withholds the way they feel could be reacting to rejection of that behaviour in the past. Knowing this, I don't blame people who are hateful, they are just reacting to that kind of hate in their lives. Everyone should be transparent in their lives. Letting someone know who you are leaves you open to criticism and if it's the real you that someone criticises, then it can hurt a lot. The walls you build from fear though, I feel like they're ignorant. They just don't know enough of why they're scared. They don't have to be. Just learn about whatever scares you.

Also, in the interest of transparency, I love all you guys. At some rough times this was my place to go to. I hope I can return the favour with some interesting things I've learnt.

This is a very very good analysis puff and I'm happy you shared this.
But I gotta correct you I do not know myself at all, though I'm starting to learn more and more each day. But besides that, I'm in the dark about who I am and life is utterly confusing for me.
Also I haven't come out of the closet to my parents but I have done so to some close friends and others usually assume? but not really so I'm not publicly a lesbian in any manner of the word.
Umm dressing the way I want uhh yeah but I'm still restricted due to being a child and all and society fuck society FUCK BEING OPPRESSED FUCK THE PATRIARCHY wait this has nothing 2 do uh. Also it is definitely an issue if someone has prejudice towards me because I'll fuck them up with some intense knowledge of the subject so they'll hopefully reconsider you feel me. But yes it does hurt me I'm not a solid wall that could just literally take any insult from any side and come out mentally fine and unscathed.

But besides that I've been sorta thinking about this topic along with other topics intertwined sorta thinking about life as a whole. Yeah emotions are complicating.
Puff, I understand it's hard to express your true self and it leaves you open to insults, not criticism because criticism usually is in good intention in making the other work on a flaw, but I believe you should do what makes you feel like yourself, you should not live for people's approval even though society has configured our intentions as so. Dress how you want, feel what you want to feel, think what you want to think, be who you want to be. If some friend or somebody in your life tells you other wise or to be somebody completely other than who you want to be, they're not worth your time because they're just keep your like stoic and boring just to make you fit their expectations.

I know this being confident of yourself is definitely hard to do because of the fear of people in general and their disapproval but it's a start. Just be happy with who you are. Don't let people tell you what to do or what you should or shouldn't be ashamed of.

That's what I'm saying though, I'm no longer conflicted by that. I've looked at the way our every pain has carved a little scratch in our ego. I've decided to not let those scratches be there. They're there so we know not to get scratched again but just by knowing the reason it was scratched in the first place allows me to be above it. I feel sort of invincible at the moment. It could pass, but if someone hurts me, I just feel sorry for them wanting to do that. I want to know why they would act that way, because it's not my fault. If someone attacks you, it's not your fault. They're just reacting to a scratch they received themselves.

I feel like we transcend human nature by not choosing fight or flight, but acceptance. Learn about it, we don't have to fight it or run away. It can exist alongside us.

Hmm fight or flight. Acceptance??
Man those are concepts that are pretty large I don't know.
I mean I think it depends? I don't even know how to argue for this but
I do feel bad for people who look to insult others but I also want to teach them otherwise if possible or educate them I'm not good at just accepting ignorance I have this weird complex that I must educate people and if that doesn't work I dissect them and make them fall apart by realizing their own ignorance. Either way my goal is to make a person realize their actions of ignorance etc. and I could do that directly in an aggressive way or passively agressive.
I know that sounds really weird and fucked up but like when people say 'who cares what other people think just move on with yourself' I don't feel comfortable doing that or ignoring them.
I guess my motivation is me wanting to be responsible for making somebody else a better person.
Also I don't feel particularly comfortable living in a world where many people just let the bad things go on and coexist like it's totally fine and normal. Maybe because I feel as if that's what makes more people think and do horrible things, by just letting them go and therefore to expand? what am i even talking about.
But also there are times where I definitely choose the fight option and try my best to fuck people over for saying something horrible. Because u no they fucking deserve to feel horrible too. DEPENDS ON MY MOOD.
Is this off topic is this even relating to what ur talking about if not sorry.

Besides all that I'm happy that you're all self confident now that's real good to hear

You're pretty much agreeing with me mostly, but I'm not saying that we can let bad things exist. Bad things exist because of lack of knowledge, like the way you say you want to educate them. Whether it's our knowledge or theirs that is lacking is why something bad exists. I think you have a totally good approach to it with telling people, I think that's how I've always done it too. You can really change someone by explaining something properly to them.

Tolerance is different and you're right, that's just allowing it through ignoring it. By saying acceptance I mean learning about it and figuring out if it needs to change itself. That might be rough to say, but there does have to be some sort of thing that defines whether it's okay really. There's a theory by a guy named Kant that is if everyone did it, could it maintain our society, roughly translated. I think hate and violence can't, so that's why we can try and educate someone past it. I also feel that once enough knowledge is learned though, we can't hate or be violent, because they are ignorant reactions to something.

Anyone's thoughts are welcome by the way.

yeah. I feel the same way.


But it's easy to say tolerance when you've achieved it. Otherwise there are situations that you can't figure out how to live freely in; you can't find the scratch in the other person. I can remind myself that everybody is after the same senses and this trouble that's supposed to hurt is nothing really but miscommunication and there's nothing about anyone that I can't survive being as it is right now. But the happy feelings come with real understanding. I can assume they are scratched, but consequences of their actions will still affect me, even if not my self-worth.

i know what you mean and i know what you mean, I think I think

i don't want walls, i want circuits; like the ones that keep me from laying on the ground trying to breathe in and out at the same time. my stresses comes from not believing i won't be fried when I put myself in a high-stress high performance necessary situation. When i fail to understand and i don't know what to do next. if I can't find it i'll need to put up walls. i can't practice tolerance with walls up. and if I can't tolerate, then I’ve critically damaged myself.


...

Yeah, some things we need to just move on from with a confidence that we know it, because technically we don't know anything. Things like breathing and walking, perhaps there are better ways, but if we live life thinking we aren't doing it right then we are just too insecure to function in society. This can apply to all things though, this is where ignorance can come in. Perhaps our Parent tells us that Asians can't drive (stereotype in Australia) we as kids can move on thinking that's true and not reassessing it. This means you're acting with the confidence in a false knowledge.

Perhaps there are a lot of false or undeveloped knowledges in our lives. We can't go thinking that everything we know is wrong or else we wouldn't leave the house. What we can do though, is reassess things that we can clearly identify as simple, fearful or inefficient. Perhaps it will take an Asian driver who can drive well before I even question that old knowledge. (I am still using an example, I know Asians can drive.) Still, it's easy to see that's a generalisation.

There's a lot of knowledge in our minds that is feeding us some sort of insecurity, and I feel like that is a false knowledge, that maybe we don't actually have to feel fear at all. I thought of an interesting metaphor about a landlord in a small hotel who has his experiences in rooms. They all pay their rent in knowledge, happiness or fear. The landlord needs to weigh the value of fear versus the value of knowledge. He should go to all those rooms and ask if those experiences can offer him some more knowledge, and if they can't, it's time to evict. They don't deserve a place in your head if they cannot offer your brain anything more than fear or sadness. I think they all have some knowledge tucked away somewhere though.

All I can say is: trial and error
Life is full of uncertainties and fears and the only way to satisfy those feelings is by confronting.
Even if you try to do something and fail, atleast now you've experience it and are certain.
If you never do what you fear, that's just 100% knowing you will not conquer it ever.
I mean like puff said how people accept false knowledge or any knowledge with no evidence
If you don't reassess or question the validity it's hard to find the truth
Like, you just need to do that to yourself sometimes you know, question and solve your difficulties.
You shouldn't let them lag you behind.
I don't even think I'm following the flow of this topic anymore but what I'm saying is being scared is natural but if you don't end up facing these fears you'll end up either being so consumed by these fears you won't be able to function or you just won't grow as a person.

Yeah. That's the flow.

You've simplified it a bit more though, which makes it easier to process. So thanks.

EDIT: I realise Fruit was also talking about tolerance as a way of letting it be until we understand it, I think that's a great way to do it.

nyah. Actually i wasn't really talking about anything in particular. The closest thing is post # 3, about acceptance.

I do believe in leaving it alone until you understand what it is.