I think a text that long is actually a mistake snake, people & judge won't bother reading through all of it and get lost between all the clan references only us know. There's nothing more annoying than reading a text and having to check the explainations down the page and get back up to keep reading etc...
A short precise story with just a few details for the atmosphere is largely enough imo, as Bojan said it's not a writting contest ^^
____________________
Name :
the fl0wer
Title :
praestes carnivorae bionicus robustus fl0wer
[PICTURE]
Once upon a time, a wushu cult seeking endless power and knowledge lost themselves in their quest - and as a curse fell upon them, they lost their minds...
A dark era of death ensued. Some fought against each other to death, some layed down on the ground waiting for their lives to end, some tortured themselves until their bodies couldn't live anymore, some just stopped breathing... And as the cultists were dying, their allmighty Wushu Robots and Wushu Mistress ripped each other to pieces in a cataclysmic fight.
Those who survived either flew the lands or hid for months, maybe years. The first survivors to come back where the battle took place found the remains of their dead gods in the middle of a ravaged landscape. They decided to burry what was left of the godly bodies in one single grave, chanting voodoo incantations for days, emptying their bodies of all tears, spreading their own blood on the sacred tomb.
They had planted the dead seed of a new living creature ; the fl0wer emerged from the ground, magnificent and yet terrifying, with a voracious hunger for flesh and a godly strenght.
The new guardian of the reviving wushu cult was born. The fl0wer, looking asleep and calm, devouring the inhabitants of the Toriworld who come too close.
__________
✔ cultists - we are, clan terminology
✔ wushu - mod we play
X black hand - our leadership positions (too precise, people won't even notice the rank title on our clan page)
✔ flower - we are
✔
wushu robot as machine god - our mascot (also notice the clan user picture)
✔ sacred
wushu goddess - aka wushu mistress, our another mascot
✔ grim dark - because it's fun
✔ self destruction - because it's true
+
✔ death & revival of fl0w (the whole Liquid period ;o)
✔ people leaving for other clans or just quiting toribash
I've all you wanted + a few historical details in just 3 short paragraphs ! I just went light handed on the grim details. Too much grim details and it will get people bored to read through the whole stuff imo
Last edited by deprav; Oct 30, 2014 at 05:55 PM.