The first one seems way too cluttered. Simplicity can work as well. You should practice that so you can find a balance between both.
Also it doesn't have depth, much flow, or good lighting.
When you want depth, work with layers, overlays, and opacity. And flow is basically everything going one way and corresponding perfectly.
And lighting is pretty basic, create the light source from the point the light should be coming from.
Make this intense, but not so much it looks over contrasted.
The second one is better, but pretty much the same.
Also wip