HI LETS MAKE A BOLOGNESE SAUCE.
Get some salt pork or pork belly or pancetta or bacon, who cares. BUT GET ABOUT THIS MUCH:
Dice it! (Fry the rind on the side and eat because it's delicious)
Fry it down
While you're doing that, get your sofrito ready.
Yeah, those are pre-diced onions, fuck with me.
Chop some parsley, FLAT LEAF > CURLY LEAF.
Add onions to salt pork pan, add a tiny tiny bit of salt to help it soften, and cook for a while stirring occasionally until you're fed up and then add the rest of your veg.
Curse the small size of your pan. Cook the veg for a bit before adding the parsley, turning it down to low and turning your attention towards the main event.
Preheat a pan to medium-high, because we're going to brown some meat. Do this in batches so you don't end up boiling the ground beef in it's own liquid. Reserve the browned meat (I don't drain it because I ain't no bitch) until it's all browned and delicious. (Yes, this is 3lb of beef)
(some sticking is fine, we'll get those bits up when we add liquid)
Browned meat goes back in the pan, and we add our red wine. A lot of red wine, probably 2-3 cups.
Incorporate the sofrito veg that's been quietly cooking, stir.
Now, to have the silky mouthfeel you want, you want to use a really good homemade chicken stock. I don't have any on hand, so I'm going to do the next best thing. ADD GELATIN PACKS. about 4 should do.
chop some basil, sage, and mince some garlic. add them.
Get too fancy and blend your whole tomatoes in their can with your stick blender. I love my stick blender :3
Add all the shit I said to add already:
Add a heavy glug of milk. Delicious milk... I've already added my chicken stock at this point. Didn't take a picture because I'm a moron.
Congratulations, you made vomit!!!!111
Now slap that shit in a oven for four hours, stirring every hour or so.
It'll look like this after oven time
No pictures, but chop about the same amount of parsley and add it, add about the same amount by vol of parmesan, and a glug of heavy creme to finish out the sauce.
Serve with your favorite pasta (I recommend fresh tagiatelle, rigatoni pictured because my grocery store is bullshit) and parmesan.
~TASTY~
