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Be more straightforward with your uplifting messages or I'll fucking skin you alive. |
What if there are no bitches in heaven? Re: YoJohn
Firstly,
“Johnny!!! You Miserable Son of a Bitch!”
~ Johnny's mum on Johnny
Now let's take a small testimony from Joe Biden.
- Joe Biden Smile
"Hey there! I'm Joe Biden, President of the United States of America, and I'd like to explain to you the history of the word bitch and how it perfectly describes my wife!
The term "bitch" comes from the 1150 word bicche, which was developed from the Old English word bicce. It also may have been derived from the Old Icelandic word bikkja for "female dog."
The phrase "son of a bitch" dates back to its use in Of Arthour & Merlin c. 1330. But none of that matters because my wife is the biggest bitch on the planet!"
Joe Biden's wife - The world's biggest bitch!
"Well, first off, I'd like to say that I'm being honest. My wife is a bitch. The world's bitchy-est bitch. If you'd ever talk to her for more than 20 seconds, you'd know what I'm talking about."
"And, to answer that last bit, it is my personal belief that the only bitch that needs to be covered here is my bitch. She's a much bigger bitch than Sarah Palin, anyway. If you want to read about Sarah Palin, check out "slut" or "Alaska"."
PROOF
"First off, she has been a teacher for more than thirty years! All teachers are bitches! Ask any school kid. They'll tell you....
Oh yeah, more evidence she's a bitch: SHE MARRIED ME!!! What kind of person would marry me? A bitch! I think everybody would agree to that. Even me. And you're an idiot if you think otherwise. Plus, she married me when I was on-the-rebound! That's right! She married me when I was still grieving over the death of my first wife and daughter! Only a bitch would do that! I mean, yeah, I was a young, sexy Senator from Delaware at the time, and no woman could resist my charm, but still!"
- She even held a "Summer Bitch Festival" in Summer 2008 in South Korea to inspire other women to become bitches!
"Did I mention she was a model when I met her? Cause she was! And we all know that models are bitches! Naomi Campbell, anyone? Exactly. My wife throws phones at me all the time."
"By the way, she wanted to give my sons up for adoption when we got married! What a bitch!"
ALSO
"She's the president of the Biden Breast Health Initiative, a non-profit organization which apparently has a goal of preventing me from ever touching another breast! Seriously, she hasn't let me touch hers in more than 20 years! You have no idea how sexually suppressed I am! It's no wonder I'm crazy! Fucking bitch! When we do have sex, it's only on my birthday, and even then, I'm tied up and blindfolded! Don't think it's some kinky David Carradine bondage-type thing, either! I wish it was, but it's not! It's just so I won't be able to touch her... Bitch."
- This is the closest they've gotten without him being blindfolded and handcuffed in 20 years!
"In 1993, I, Snoop Dogg, and Dr. Dre wrote a song called "Bitches Ain't Shit" about my wife! In it, we informed all the kiddies that "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks!" because of how many guys she cheats on me with. When she was a teacher, she had sex with several of the students, both male and female! "Oral exam", my ass! More like cunnilingus!
You ever played Hearts? Well, the queen of spades is referred to as "the bitch". Guess who it is on that card? My wife, Jill!"
Here are some paid testimonials to prove it!
“Yes. Joe Biden's wife is a bitch. You can trust me. I'm black.”
~ Barack Obama
“Would a bitch cheat on her husband with me?! You betcha!”
~ Bill -- NO!! -- Hillary Clinton
"See? Even these people think she's a bitch! And I only had to pay them $40 each to say it!"
"Let me tell you about our home life! First off, the bitch is always yelling at me! Been doing that ever since I was Vice President and I was at home all the time! You know why I was at home all the time, instead of doing my job as Vice President? Because the Vice President doesn't do shit! The only thing the Vice President does is sit and listen to a hundred old people talk about their fucking dog and why it is against healthcare reform! Boring! Hell, I don't even have the right to tell them to shut up! I have to sit there and listen to all of them."
Ok, after that great testimony by Joe Biden let's discuss the results and show the hypothesis.
My alternative hypothesis: Fortunately, there are bitches in heaven!
My null hypothesis: Unfortunately, there are bitches in heaven!
CONCLUSION
It has been revealed that there will be virgins in heaven, are they better than bitches? Definitely not!
Will there be bitches in heaven? Yes.
for warriors only
for warriors only