Well, you usually want to aim for the armpit, pecs, neck, glutes, or hips. When aiming for the torso it's a bit more tricky, as you're likely to get a DM upon striking the upper portion of joints.
It's mostly momentum and strength involved; and the angle you're striking the joints. The very bottom or upper portion is more likely to Dismember, while direct hits will require more force. That's how I see it.
When kicking, make sure to either Extend the foot or relax it.
When Snapkicking, I'd generally contract the foot as it'll bring the arm upward moreso then hitting an armpit with an extended ankle.
Using knees, make sure you have lots of momentum into it. Take the time to set up (2-3 turns if we're talking Aikido) before pulling yourself in the strike.
When punching, holding the wrist allows for the hand to be straight forward, which helps greatly. Moving your body in motion to the punch is also good. Punches aren't really advised.
When Headbutting, the general what-to-do would be to Lower arms, extend pecs and neck, contract elbows. Usually throws you into them the most effectively.
That's how I go about dismembering. Correct me if I'm wrong.